Oloh?  Hello?  This poor blog has been neglected hasn’t it?

Yesterday was the wrap-up of four months worth of work on three events I planned for the little school my kids attend.  This year it was easier, but also harder than ever. Easier because I’ve done it a couple of times and now I don’t have to start from scratch, but harder because of my responsibilities at home and the lack of resources that I need to do my job and teach my boys and still keep things running on the home front…..what I would have given for a housekeeper, cook and third car these last couple of months.  I am pooped and I think I might have shaved a good 15 years off of my life.  I’m ready to re-enter society now, but today I’m staying in my p.j.’s and wondering why one of my big toes is numb.

Okay, enough about me.

Clay is out working on the porch right now.  I worry about him.  He has worked so hard the last few weeks, then took a day off to help his wife (because…he’s awesome and makes up for the lack of volunteers that I needed,  but didn’t have because….ugh) and now he’s out using a power saw.  I just hope at the end of the day he has all of his limbs.  Okay, so the porch, we decided to refinance the house because, Hello!  Have you seen the interest rates?  Well, the idiot who came to do our appraisal decided we couldn’t get the loan until the porch was fixed.  He saw the lumber that we had purchased, asked how much it was worth and then did the appraisal based on that.  Okay, that’s fair.  But then, the IDIOT appraiser decided to give us a deadline to have the work finished before we could close on the loan.  Right in the midst of our craziness.  It’s supposed to be done by next weekend.  I hope I never see that guy again, because I might sick my mean rooster on him or shove the porch up his appraiser pocket.  Geesh!  Have mercy, it’s not like we weren’t going to fix the darn thing, we just don’t have time right now!!!!  And yet, there’s Clay out working on it to get it done before the end of the week.  Oh, to have help on this would be such a Godsend.  Oh well, it’s okay we’ll get it done….that has been my  mantra the last week every time somebody tells me they can’t help or can’t show up or didn’t read any of the emails with the information that was provided, blah, blah, blah.

I’m pretty sure I’m stuck in the children’s storybook The Little Red Hen, except I don’t get to eat the bread at the end of the story I get to watch as everyone else enjoys their fill.  It’s strange how it makes me happy that they are enjoying it, but I wouldn’t mind if a few of them choked on it.  Just sayin’.  I need a little space and time so I can recharge my bank of patience for the human race.

Right, sorry…I said enough about me.

I need to show you all pictures of Salt the kitty…she takes turns sleeping in all our beds.  I know.  She’s the most spoiled animal in the world.  And I totally bought her a litter box against all my will I did not want to make her a house cat and yet I worry about where she is all the time.  Stupid little baby-girl-kitty-kitty-snooky-wooky-face.

That’s it.  That’s all I have.  There is no more.  Someday I’ll blog about something more meaningful like pigs and chickens.

If he wasn't so cute...

This is my little slice of Hell year.  Today I reached my melting point.  I knew it would probably come, but I thought I might be able to power through it.  Right now is the busiest time for just about everything.  Everyone needs something from me right now.  I can’t concentrate on one thing for more than a few moments or something else will cave.  It’s a little nutty, but I knew it would be, so…so what, right?

I had been working with one of my boys on their math for what seemed like the beginning of time or maybe even since before the beginning of time and then, all of a sudden, it was noon.  Where the heck did the morning go?  Did we seriously not get even one subject done before lunch?

Clay came home to eat and as I looked up from the table I said something like, “We’re still doing Math.  We have been doing Math since you last saw us in 1972.  We’ll be here doing Math when you return from your space travels in 5075.  We are suspended in time forever on problem 7 we are the impenetrable fortress, the permanent post,  we will not move or change…WE WILL BE RIGHT HERE DOING THIS SAME DAMN MATH PROBLEM FOR ETERNITY!!!”

And then Clay told the boys to go outside to play.

I started to melt, “I can’t do this.  I’m a terrible mother.  Why do I always choose the most difficult path? I’m never going to get everything done.  Whose idea was this?  What lunatic convinced you that I could do all of this?  I’m out numbered. I can’t work all these jobs.  This is crazy.  I’m crazy. I am losing my mind one math problem at a time.  Do you know how many emails I sent that were wrong to all the volunteers?  I can’t read my typing.  It’s like a lunatic has taken over my brain. I wish I looked as thin as I’m spread….”  And on and on about the kids, the house, my job, my other job, my hair, the animals, the ripped carpet, the broken dishwasher, the list of stuff I have to do before November, the holidays, all the stupid people in the world (which is all of them) and a whole host of other things that decided to belch their way to the surface.

And then the voice of reason.  Clay.  He took me by the shoulders and said, “I’m going to tell you something and it might make you mad.”

I hate it when he says that.  It makes me mad.  I need to remember tell him that someday.

“You do this every time you get to about 90% of what you need to get done.  You start to panic and you just need to push through to the end.  You know you’ll get it done.  I’ll help you.  That’s why I’m here, to help you finish that last 10%.”

And then I cried on him trying not to get snot on his dress shirt.  I’m certain I was supposed to be pissed at him for saying something stupid, but I can’t remember what it was.

So, I’m at 90% and I can smile about that.  The end is in sight.  I’ll live, the kids might live, we’ll eat Corn Nuts and oatmeal for the next few weeks,  the house will most likely crumble, and I swear to GOD we are still going to be doing that same damn math problem!!!  But, I will get my job done 100%.

Hey! I’m alive!!  I lived through juicing.

Okay, I’m real-real (that’s our new saying around the house, “real-real”), I’m real-real sorry I’ve been absent.  I actually wrote a St. Louis post, hit publish and WordPress had logged me OUT!  Oh, the agony.  I can’t bring myself to write it again, but I’ll try.

Here’s a quick update from Coal Creek Farm…you know how I love doing the list thing.

1. 19 years ago today I got myself hitched to an auburn haired architect.  It was a real-real nice day. I highly recommend finding yourself someone that you like and doing the same.

2. I like that architect more today than I did 19 years ago and I think he might still like me a tiny bit.

3. I did ask for a divorce from sharing a suitcase with him, it was time.  We always share a suitcase and I no longer want to share, I want my own suitcase.  He’s not taking it well.  We might need to go to a suitcase counselor to work out the separation.

4. We spent the night in the same hotel in which we spent our wedding night, it was real-real fun.

5. Four days ago my best friend from high school, Carmen, called and together we convinced each other to go to our 23rd reunion.

6. I spent 48 hours talking non-stop.

7. My throat is sore and my voice is raspy.

8. We met up with old classmates and had a great time.

9. I stayed with Carmen’s parents, it was just like old times: giggling until 4am, sharing the bathroom to get ready, answering all the questions her mom asked.  I loved it.

10. I’ve decided that I was in fact the tallest woman anywhere to be seen in western Kansas.

11. Why are there so many tiny people in Goodland, Kansas?  I didn’t have Clay beside me to make me feel normal, it was real-real awkward bending over to talk to all of them.

12. I was real-real shocked by the people that announced they read my blog.  Hi John, Hi Rhonda, Hi Darla, Hi Gee-Gee, Hi Dawn, Hi Carrie….now I can’t write stories about you.  Well, at least not until you die.

13. I liked every single person I talked to.  Funny how after decades pass all those teenagers turned into real-real fine folk.  I think they are all more beautiful today than they were twenty years ago.

14. One of my real-real good friends here was college buddies with one of my classmates.  I managed to get their contact information to each other and now they can reconnect after losing touch nearly 17 years ago.  I’m a people finder.  I should charge them a finder’s fee.  Dax, Carl, I will send you a bill.

15. Juicing was AWESOME.  When I start blogging regularly again (hahahahahaha- oh, I FUNNY LADY, blog regularly, BAH!) I might tell you all about it.  How do you like my level of commitment?

16. Couponing is going well.  Who needs a razor?  Shampoo?  Toothpaste?…I gotcha covered.

17. Two of our hogs will be loaded and turned into bacon next week.  The loading part should be highly entertaining and muddy.  Preacher will be out of his mind crazy that day because he doesn’t like to say goodbye to the pigs.

18. My oldest son is now 6’2″ tall and growing.  You can probably imagine how happy this makes me.  I look small standing next to him.  Again…the giddiness.

19. That’s it for now.  I’m so sleep deprived.  Instead of telling me how lovely I was last night, Clay kept saying, “Hon, you look tired.”  I’m too old to party two nights in a row and live on 2 hours of sleep.

~April out.