Preacher is the head of farm security at Coal Creek Farm. He speaks English with a Columbian accent he learned from our neighbors that stuff him full of tamales, enchiladas, tacos and spiced beef. He’s great at guarding the farm except when a rogue raccoon invades the barn that is bigger than he is, then he just tells us where the creature is and hides under our bed for the rest of the day. He’s Preacher, the farm dog.
“Attenshion chumans dat leev in my house! Could chou all gater round dis plasteec bin, I have nouncement.”
“De baby cheeks, de have arrived. I will seecure de preemises to insure der safety. Dey are vedy cute leetle tings, no?”
“Masteer Clay, I promeese wid all my hart dat I weel protect dem. I promeese. Also, sorry bout de smelly gasses I had las night, dos tomales were so deeleeshush. Kay? I love chou.”
“Jees, I love chou little babee cheeks.”
“Now, could sombodee opeen de door? I need to bark at de weend and sky. And I dink de hot tamales are stirring in my gut again. K? Tank you.”