I’ve delayed posting this little photo episode for quite a while, because…well, you’ll see.
You all know Sledge, right? Sledge and I have shared a lot of meals together over the last year. I was a bit shocked the first time I saw this kid eat. I’m not sure I know anyone else on the face of the planet that eats quite like him or that loves food quite as much as Sledge. He worries if a restaurant is going to have large enough portions for him, he obviously loves a buffet.
I’ve had to tell him a few times not to worry about anyone taking the food away from him…I promise…I won’t take your lunch, just slow down and enjoy it.
Sledge says, “The goal is to get it in my stomach as fast as possible.”
Sledge….I’m hoping this photo will make you realize that shaving is a good thing. And so are small bites.
“Food is just so delicious.”
One time after eating a big lunch he said, “Do you like donuts? I think we have enough time to go get some donuts.”
It’s not good for me to be around him for long periods of time, because, the food consumption. One time we traveled together and right after we got on the road he turned and said to me, “When are we gonna stop? I’m starving.” I wouldn’t have been so surprised if we hadn’t just eaten lunch. That same trip he also got a bit car sick and needed me to stop so he could go to the bathroom. That’s when I decided traveling with Sledge is like traveling with a 6’4″ toddler.
I can’t tell you how many times he has said, “Oh…I shouldn’t have eaten that.” And then I have to listen to him complain about how his stomach hurts or how he’s getting a headache from whatever he ate. Whenever I’ve suggested that he may not want to eat a certain item because it might not sit so well, he tells me the pain is totally worth it. Okay, so he’s also like being around an 85 year old man with a lot of digestion problems. Poor kid, I’m not painting a very pretty picture of him.
But, when you eat crap in a bowl for lunch….
sweet Gordon, help me.
He does have relatively good hygiene. However, I did have to give him a small mirror to keep on his desk so he could check for food particles on his face and in his teeth. After kindly pointing out food on his face or in his teeth the first ninety times, now I just roll my eyes, sigh deeply and say, “The teeth”.
I’m not sure how Sledge got through his first 21 years without my constant criticism and this post is only about how he eats, don’t get me started on his wardrobe. Let’s just say he’s walked around blissfully unaware of a lot of things most of his life. Which makes him endearing and pathetic all at the same time. This year we have focused on matching our belt to our shoes. In the following months we will be focusing on seasonal appropriate colors and fabrics. The whole belt/shoe thing really shook him up and I hate to throw too much information at him all at once. Okay, back to his eating habits.
He does clean his plate. Such a good boy. But…
Is it worth it?
Maybe for him.
But, for those around him? Not so much.
“I could totally go for a cream cheese donut right now. How about we watch some Tim Hawkins while I digest?”
“Yeah…I’m feeling better already!”
“Sniff…oh…lunch and comedy. This is the best of the best..right here, right now. ”
“That crap in a bowl was the best thing that ever happened to me!”
“April! Remember that time I wore my giant white running shoes with those dark jeans and black socks? And I thought I was rockin’ hot?”
“Oh, such good times.”
There is a reason this sign is on his office door.