old lady and her old man
Just recently, I’ve decided I’m old. Not elderly, but definitely on a downward spiral to old age. Every photo I see of myself is a bit shocking. Holy crap, the fat rolls, the thin sagging skin, the deep wrinkles. What in the name of Botox is going on? My brain still thinks I look like I did when I was 25 and yet, the photos remind me so much of my Dead Uncle Chuck that I’m surprised it’s me and not him visiting from the grave.
A lot of things have changed not only physically, but mentally for me over the years. I used to be so brave and tough when it came to gory images, needles, getting shots. I would just look the other way, not panic, find something happy to think about and be done with it. But then something in me snapped. I think I’ve been poked, prodded, cut and stitched too many times and my brain refuses to find a happy place anymore. Instead I get light headed, sweaty and just recently, oh gosh I wish I were kidding, but no, just recently….I start to get all teary and almost cry when things scare me. Yes, I’m an elderly person that acts like a toddler.
So now I’m the old lady that can’t handle the sight of many things including: giant holes in kids’ ears, needles going toward skin, sword fighting in movies that leads to cutting or stabbing and then stitching of skin, oh please, I do not want to see a needle and thread pulling skin together! Do you see a pattern here? Basically, I fear seeing skin being stretched or cut or poked. I didn’t used to be like this.
I never feared going to the dentist’s office either. I even had a cavity filled without getting numbed once. But now? Now, I am scared of the dentist.
About a month ago I finally went in to have my broken molar fixed. I’m glad I looked up that post because I thought it had been four or five years since I broke my tooth, but it’s only been three years, so I’m not as big of a procrastinator as I thought!
I also had an old filling with a cavity under it that had to be fixed located in the molar in front of the broken tooth, so I knew I was going to need to be numbed for the procedure. The problem is, I took zero time to mentally prepare myself for what was going to happen. My way of coping with having to get this done was to not think about it at all. And I was pretty sorry the minute I stepped into the office. I didn’t have to wait at all, the technician took me right back to a little room that will forever in my mind be known as Hell. And this is what the furniture in Hell looks like…
to be continued…
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So…. clearly…… your favorite show is “Nip Tuck” : )
you are not alone sister…i have to take a valium before EVERY dental visit…sometimes i even take one just to call and set up the appointment =o)
Honey, you are still a baby! You are not alone in your fear. I am 61 years old and have found myself too many times in the last two years in doctor’s and dentist’s offices and in the hospital a couple of times. I get myself into a worried tizzy every time I have to get close to a doctor or dentist. Maybe it’s because every time I do they find something else wrong with me. In my mind I am 35 years old, but my body tells me I am more like 80!
Gravity sucks. Literally. I am not a fan, either.
Yes, I have been to that place. The place with that furniture. The last time I was there, I was informed that I have a small crack in a tooth that is eventually going to break. I am now terrified to chew anything harder than a turkey sandwich.
I would literally rather go to for a gynecologist appointment than a dentist appointment. After 5 births, my OB/GYN knows that I can handle a lot, but my dentist probably thinks that I am a total freak. Which I guess I am.
Go do something irrational to make sure you’re alive. I did a parachute jump because I was in a rut. It was a hoot.
Seriously, go zipline or something.
There is always Valium! I hate going to the dentist, too.
I like km’s idea—do something wild and crazy. My neighbor across the street is a dentist and once gave me a numbing shot at his kitchen table—this after he gave me an emergency root canal on a Sunday in his office with his wife assisting. He also prescribed some good meds. fun times/good neighbors. It’s the eyes for me—the hoods that have developed and the bags underneath. sigh.
I have found the solution to seeing yourself age. Every morning I get all dolled up (which actually consist of bshower, brush teeth, comb hair). Then I smile at my almost blind, 23 year old self in the mirro, turn around and put my glasses on. All day 49 year old me has a mental image of a perky, line free, no gray hair unsaggy 23 year old- and I’m none the wiser
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Ooohh, I hate the ….to be continued post!
teaser…
Oh dear. I’ve hated the dentist chair all along. I fear this does not bode well for my old age.
Ha ha ha! I’m laughing at Rachel because I think I’ve done that!
April, I think there’s something in what you say. The same happens with movies. I’ve never really liked horror movies, but was not bothered by fight scenes or action scenes. Now I can’t take them. I’m the only female in my family, so we watch a lot of action films. I have found myself turning my head and closing my eyes/covering my ears for the past few years. Hand-to-hand combat is harder for me to watch than weapons. And for the record, I’m 38. Still feel like I’m in my early 20′s. Sigh.
I feel your pain. After many, many years of getting blood taken I found myself getting a bit anxious about it recently. Of course, that MIGHT be due to the fact that for the first time in years the nurse (a newbie) couldn’t find my vein. Don’t worry – I think it passes.
OK, please. I wake up every morning that I’m inching closer to 50 and say “who are you and what did you do with that svelt 23 year old blonde girl. No wonder dad always wore a beard and mustache…too bad that’s not an option for me.” as the wrinkles from my smile literally meet the wrinkles from my laugh lines/crows feet. And the dentist? I haven’t been inside that office in 6 years. And I’m a little frightened that I’m going to regret that if my teeth start falling out. But just thinking about it gives me flop sweat.
Hey there! I read your blog all the time and never comment. I lurk and I laugh – you crack me up!
I know, I know – I’m about to link to something hugely controversial but I think it’s worth it. I picked this up at the library:
http://www.amazon.com/Ageless-Naked-Truth-Bioidentical-Hormones/dp/0307237249
and I think you would be very intrigued!!
Anyhoo, I feel your dentist pain!!! I almost don’t want to read the continuation!!
Take care!
So far I think the worst part of aging is that I feel really good and sexy @ 54 and then look into the mirror and wonder who the heck the old lady staring back at me is!!
ALSO feel your pain regarding the dentist! I had a tiny filling and my narrow minded dentist refused to give me morphine so I talked him into happy gas…..my cheekbones were sore from sucking on that mask!
I just went to the dentist for the first time in a few (ahem, 12) years. Yeah for me, no cavities!!!!! BUT, Doogie Howser, DDS decided that I needed to change out my old filling for the new and improved filling junk. So now, I’m having teeth issues. Moral of this story, Dentists cause teeth problems! Stay away.
Hey! That’s what my hell looks like too! AND, I have all of my own teeth, with no cavities…I still dread it! Why is that?
That looks NOTHING like the dentist office I went to once – It was one on the list of my insurance providers that I randomly chose. When I got there it was literally an old 3 story house with a horrible smell…dust….and REALLY OLD dentist furniture, etc. I felt like I’d stepped into the 60′s. Needless to say, I never went back.
I hear you about the age thing. I get angry when people call me ‘maam’ because it makes me feel old. Once someone came to my place of work, someone I’d never met before, and recognized me because I have the nose of my uncle. Ouch! Now I’m constantly looking at my nose in the mirror, as if that would make it change.
I know what you mean. I once got my brows waxed, and the lady made them very thin and very curved (not usually how I have mine done). When I looked in the mirror, I saw my GRANDMA!!! A younger version, but dang that scared me! I too see in my mind my 25 year old self…not my almost 40 year old self.
What about watching one of those birth shows – after giving birth seven times without cringing, I can’t bring myself to watch someone else do it (unless it’s one of my daughters). Going to the dentist doesn’t bother me though…yet.
Recently after meeting someone and they asked a few questions, #of children, etc. then they asked my age….and then said OH I wouldn’t have guessed that! I giggled nervously…but later I thought wouldn’t have guessed what..that someone with 4 kids could look so baggy and blotchy and worn out at the ripe old age of 41. I doubt very much they were thinking I wouldnt have guessed that you were that old…you are so fresh and chipper and your neck skin is amazing…doubt it very much. Can’t wait for part II
I want to give you some good news. I am 63. I went through everything you’re going through, and worse. But today I look and feel younger than I did when I was 45 or 50. Some of the bad stuff is just hormones messing with your mind. There is peace after the hormone wars. Some of the bad stuff went away when the child (who is now 24) grew into a place where he didn’t require my worrying about him constantly. Some of it went away when I discovered a low carb diet (necessitated by diabetes), and Strivectin. It’s not necessarily a straight trip downhill from where you are. I think it’s just that most of us just aren’t really ourselves while we’re raising a family, we put our previous lives on hold for a while. Who you are right now is who you need to be.
Wow that is some pretty nice furniture in Hell – wish our office (aka hell) had that!!! Kellie Brittingham
Cutest photo of you two!!
You look gorgeous! Not to worry…
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands:
one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she
carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes because that is the doorway
to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is
reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows,
and the beauty of a woman, with passing years, only grows!
- Audrey Hepburn