We have good friends coming for a visit this weekend. You know how small the farmhouse is, right? It’s tiny. I love it that way, it’s easy to clean….when I want to clean it, but geeeeeeeez is it ever a mess right now. I’m rushing around trying to make it look like it’s always organized and spotless, but my friends will know that…it’s a giant FAKE!
So, this weekend we will pack 7 children, 4 adults and 2 dogs into this little house and we’ll have a great time.
After writing that, I have no idea why I’m cleaning.
In other news, Clay really is working on his questions when he’s not at a basketball game or work or sleeping…which leaves about 4.5 minutes a day.
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You crack me up!!
If they’re good friends and it’s not a health hazard I’d say clean only to the point of minimum pride:)
Just recently discovered your blog and have enjoyed browsing your archives. Thanks for the giggles and I look forward to continue following you.
that title alone made me laugh! I also will be making my house look fake tomorrow for weekend visitors.
I give up on trying to give the illusion to people that my house is clean. If they want to come over they can just deal with it.
Hide most of the stuff in a little used closet, wash dishes, bathroom sinks and mirrors THEN go to the grocery store and buy several of those little plug in things…I like the apple-cinnamon ones… and you are all done…Thats how I clean for guests! AND I am not too exhausted to enjoy them!
Good luck with the cleaning!
I’m all about deceiving friends and family into thinking my house is clean.
So true, so true, that’s not how we really live is it?
I, too, KILL myself while faking out the house for company! It, of course, all goes to waste within 4.5 minutes of the company getting there. But, for those 4.5 minutes, I had a clean house, by gosh.
Have fun, how come your sister is so down lately? Started with the trip to Paris, then went down hill from there. Bashing other blogers is a bad idea, I had to stop reading all the negative things.
You have closets with doors, right?
We’re having a get-together tomorrow night, and I’m doing the same thing. Rearranging furniture, trying to reduce the height of the laundry mountain, cleaning, baking, etc. This is not how we live.
Hey, it’s what we do. We make the house look fake for company. Your friends would do the same for you.
I have thought the same thing when my house was on the market. They told me to remove half of my belongings and put them in storage, then bake cookies so the house would smell like vanilla and cinnamon. Who are we kidding??!?!
But it worked. Now I’m living in a very small and old Craftsman Cottage and making the house look fake is a daily struggle.
Susan
Here’s my motto: “If you want to see me, come any time! If you want to see my house, make an appointment.”
That said, I love how events (parties, visits, etc.) get my house in some kinda decent shape because it’s the only good excuse that makes it all happen at once and then I can enjoy a clean house…for a minute.
I believe I referred to this phenomenon in the http://coalcreekfarm.com/2010/01/what-if-i-2010/comment-page-1/#comments
Gratuitous link to an old and touching posting of your m’dear
I just about killed myself cleaning the house for my sister’s visit this week. I so overdid it that I fell asleep at 9:00 the first two nights she was here. Not exactly the reception she was hoping for. The saddest thing is that things aren’t even that clean. They just look more like what I imagine most people’s “regular clean” looks like.
Cram the overflow in a box(es) for the garage, clean the potty and spotty mirrors and light a candle!
Wanna really impress your guest? Clean like a madwoman and then when they arrive? Apologize for the place being such a mess.
Heheh.
My sister lives overseas and the last time she came to visit me, it was for three months and we crammed four adults, eleven kids (we are very fertile girls), two dogs and a cat into my house. for three months. Did I mention is was for three whole months? Did I also mention that it was the best summer, ever? It was.
I have to do the same thing but just for us – it’s a wreck here. How does that happen? And so quickly too?
I’m also a new follower who is catching up by reading your archives and thoroughly enjoying what I read!
I console myself with frantic cleaning deadlines by consciously telling myself that if it weren’t for company, I might never clean the whole house at the same time. And then, R and I sit in our clean house, eyeing the food we’ve prepared, fervently hoping that our friends will cancel (half-joking here…teehee) so that we can enjoy it ourselves!
God bless generic febreeze, though, right?
I just sat down to take a break from making my house look fake and cracked up at your post! This summer I will give up all pretense, we will be cramming 2 insane parents (me and my hubby), 1 twenty something son that is home from college, 1 30 something nephew and his 2 sons, 1 teenage daughter, 1 autistic 4-year-old who does not like his routine changed and one big yellow dog into our teeny tiny house……April, can I come visit you in July??? I promise you will not have to make your house fake!!
Good luck with the cleaning and have a fun weekend. I’m off to pick up the remnants of a chewed up telephone book, fight back my laundry piles, cook dinner……….oh, and I agree with Jon, thank heavens for febreeze
I’m doing the same thing right now! But these are close friends who are coming to visit . . . they KNOW how we live. Will they think less of me if I try to make it look nice in here, since they know it’s fake? Or will they feel hurt if I choose not to clean for them? I’m cleaning. Maybe I’ll leave some disgusting food scraps on the floor or something to give the feeling of authenticity.
Will you come fake clean my house? It really needs it. Well, it really needs it all the time.
Just dab some lysol behind your ears; you’ll smell like you’ve been cleaning.
You wanna borrow my candle that smells like lemon fresh pledge. I clear the clutter and light that baby up and voila a clean house!!!
Have a fun weekend!
If the house starts to get messy we joke that we “better invite someone over!” Our house is super duper tiny so it doesn’t take long to mess up!
Have a great time – nothing like having a weekend with good friends!
I just tell people when they come over: “Apologies for my home looking like someone lives in it.” Gets a laugh every time.
Oh my goodness! I completely understand that panic feeling; if you can hold out until tomorrow I can help you clean it!
I LOVE to make my house look fake! Glad you put a title to it
Don’t worry about cleaning, anytime you see someone focusing on a potential imperfect spot, break out into a family dance! Perfect distraction.
A full house is a fun house – have a great time!!
Have fun, run the video and get #1 son to show the visiting kids how to busta move!
Ya, there’s probably no point in cleaning! Save yourself the pain and enjoy the weekend.
-FringeGirl
Just found you via your sister’s site. You are both hilarious!
I’m with Donna….dab some Lysol behind your ears and everyone will think you’ve been cleaning! Best housewife advice ever!
How many square feet is your house?
Ha – sorry, I just got a chance to read this because I was busy making MY house look fake, and all for a video-cam call with my inlaws… like they don’t know after 15 years what our house really looks like.
Be well.
I consider it my God given mission to let friends see the real us. It’s a gift to them and humbling for me. I confess, I do clean the bathrooms well. Wouldn’t want them them to encounter a health hazard. Love your crazy lightheartedness.
Well, did it work???? I am totally doing this in a few days!
dontcha just wish that your house could stay “company clean” for FIVE minutes after they leave? inevitably everything just comes bursting out of the hiding places, the cats knock everything on the floor, and who spilled the wine all over the counter????
I am laughing as we have a very small farm house. It is really hard when you have company to keep it clean! I like everything in it’s place, but just not possible with company. I love my tiny farmhouse!
When my daughter’s family and 6 kids are coming I make sure the sheets are clean, the kitchen and bathrooms are clean and do the actual cleaning on everything else after they leave! I do spend extra time in the kitchen cooking too!