Sledge Hammer

This is Sledge Hammer.  He’s the guy at school that makes three billion photo copies of various promotional materials for me and then I say,” Uh, thanks for making these, but I’d like that font to be different and could you change the background and let’s make them this weird size so you’ll have to cut them…by hand.”  Then he stares at me while he bites his tongue and a few minutes later he has what I’ve asked for, like magic.

I told Sledge I was going to write a post about him, but I didn’t have any good photos to use.  He told me to get some off his Facebook page.  I had no idea I’d have to wade through four billion photos and I had no idea he was so photogenic which hides his nerdy tendencies.  I’ll talk about those in a moment.

Sledge went to a film/creative media school and hopes to have a career editing someday.  The boy has some skills and our school is benefiting heavily from them right now.  I’m not sure how our school was able to snag him, it might be because he has some personal connections at the school, like people that share his last name.  I’d like to think our school is a really cool place for young guys to come work.  We hired him to be our “Everything-Guy”.  And he does just about everything.  He even plays with Levi and that’s a tall order.  Sledge flings him on his back or gives him a tickle and now their best friends forever and ever.  Plus they share candy, so that seals the deal.

I told Sledge I was a bit concerned about exposing him to so many people.  I told him most of my readers are female.  He said,” Uh, and that’s a problem because…?” Silly me.

Sledge is not your average college guy.  He’s grounded, faithful, thoughtful, respectful…except for that one time he called me Caesar, but I probably deserved it.  However,  he’ll pay mightily when I make him design the next postcard I need.  Which reminds me, he had to Google postcard because he swore nobody has sent postcards since the 1970′s.  I’m still making fun of him for that one.

Now, let’s talk about the nerdy tendencies.  They need to be addressed.  They are possibly one of Sledge’s best qualities and might possibly be the reason he didn’t have a date to the Christmas party.  This is why…

The movie knowledge in his head is absurd.  He knows the names of all the actors, directors, producers, probably the grips and caterers too.  He quotes movie lines and listens to soundtracks.  Obsessive much?  Most of the time I don’t know the movies he’s quoting and I’m afraid to ask because then I will get an earful of who was in it and when it was released and blah, blah, blah.  He also corrected me when I spelled Padawan incorrectly.  So now I call him my little Paddy Wanny just to annoy him.

And for Halloween?  Oh my…

For Halloween he dressed up like Lost bad guy, Benjamin Linus.  Because Benjamin Linus is his favorite character.  And that makes me go ewwwwww gross!

Really, Sledge?  This is your favorite Lost Character?  Why?  When you have….

my twin.  Hello Sawyer, you troubled soul.  I think next year I’ll be Sawyer for Halloween, because we have the same hair cut, glasses and facial hair.  Not to mention a wicked ability for one-line come backs.

Sledge, you could have chosen Jack!  Jack the brilliant surgeon. The leader of the group.  The one that makes all the decisions good or bad.  Jack, strong, intelligent, Jack!

Well, okay, there was this unfortunate turn of events.  But, he came back around.  Or did he?  Was this in the past or present?  Or future?  I’m afraid to ask.  Okay, never mind, Jack has too much baggage and drug addictions and who knows what other demons this poor guy is battling.

Oh, sorry this post is about Sledge.  Sledge?  Are you still listening?  Hey!  Hello?  Yoo-hoo down here.  I’m talking to you!  Get your head out of the clouds boy!

If you ever see this guy mentioned behind the scenes of some production someday, you’ll be able to yell, “Hey!  I know him!  That’s Sledge Hammer!”  Then you can recall his humble beginnings right here on Coal Creek Farm.

Hey, Sledge?  Don’t forget us little people, okay?  Oh, and do you have those postcards done yet?  Please don’t quit your awesome job because of me, I don’t know how to make a postcard either.

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