I need to talk to you about something I struggle with every time I go out in public.
It’s a fear of mine.
It makes me feel week and faint.
It’s makes me want to vomit.
If the kids or Clay are with me they quickly look at me to see if I’m going to faint or start hyperventilating. Sometimes I will reach out and grip their arm and squeeze it really hard until the scary feeling subsides and I can think of something happy.
I was going to post a picture to show you, but I kept swaying back and forth in front of the screen and knew I couldn’t handle it.
Okay, you ready? Go look and then we’ll discuss this.
That was the nicest picture I could show you. It’s those holes in the ears. I don’t know why they bother me so much. For Pete’s sake, my ears are pierced. The young college crowd seems to be the most into doing this to their ears right now. Those big plugs they put in there, oh Lord, that just sends my head spinning.
I can’t seem to get away from it anymore. Everywhere I go there is another kid with huge holes in their ears. Why? Why do they do it? Will they regret it when they’re older. Is some plastic surgeon going to make a fortune repairing that damage in a few years? Can it be repaired? I just want it to go away and not hurt me anymore. It does, it hurts me. I’ve turned to my children and blurted with desperation in my voice, “Please! Please don’t do that to your ears! I won’t be able to look at you without getting sick or fainting!”
Hopefully, I can overcome this fear because it really is crazy. I used to get scared of nose piercings and lots of ear cartilage piercings. Ouch! And the tongue, why the tongue?! He hurts so terribly to bite your tongue, why do people choose to pierce it?! Agh! I can’t take it!
Okay, that’s all. I just needed to share. Go about your day. I’m going to think of soft fluffy things and rainbows and candy.
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LOL – I hate face jewlery, but my 27 year old just had the ear thingy done, I’m very unhappy about it. He has his own place so what can a mother do?
I HATE the eyebrow earrings! They make my eyes water. Lip rings & nose rings are not appealling either. With the tongue ring, you can at least close your mouth so it can’t be seen.
I was in Sacramento Ca waiting for a flight, a young kid sat across from me with multi piercings..his face ears neck. I counted 50 piercings in his face alone with a fine chain going from one ear over his forhead to the other ear.I was going to ask him…has you Mama seen you?..then I noticed the chain…it went down both sides of his neck under his cut off shirt…in to his pants. I was afraid to hear the answer
Yes, I agree that it is just totally disgusting to see those rings all over what could be an attractive face. So ugly to see all that metal. Did we do anything like that when we were teenagers? I don’t think so.
I was at a convenience store and the clerk had about 20 facial piercings (why would they hire him?). I couldn’t help but stare at him. He asked me, “WHAT??” I answered, “Excuse me?” He then asked, “What are you looking at?” I replied, “What am I staring at? You look like you ran face first into a hardware display. What do you mean, what am I staring at???” It was rude on my part but what the &%$#?????? Oh my.
I hate it too and I wonder about all these young girls getting tatoos. Don’t they know they will go old and all their body parts are going to fall and be rearranged in ways they can’t even imagine.
I laugh when I see those big hole….know why? They think they are all cool now…but when they are in their mid thirties, trying to get a good job…and they show up with those holes? Um….ya. It’s all a form of individual expression, but I don’t like it. I am really getting sick of seeing tattoos too. I don’t know why, those bother me more than piercings!
What would you do if one of your kids got those big ear holes!???
I hate it when kids get a million tatoos when they are young. You know when they are 60 they are going to look really stupid with a tramp stamp. They should be smarter and wait till you are almost 40 and then get one where no one could see it. Not that I know anything about that.
Has that kid with all the tats and the ear thingy been helping YOU at Wally-world too!?
I’ve wondered too, what is the purpose of those earplugs? I don’t get it. I don’t get the beauty or the coolness in the piercings. My 20yr old niece got her nose pierced last fall with a diamond stud smaller than a mustard seed & my sister freaked out about that. And am I wrong, but it seems to me that it is mostly guys getting the ear plugs?
I just saw a kid with humongous holes in his ear the other day at Little Ceasars. All I could think about was that he will regret that decision someday (while my stomach turned a little!)
I’m with all y’all. I just don’t get it. Then again it took me until the age of 28 (and my wedding) to bother getting my ears pierced. And there are days I still consider letting them close up.
I can’t help but think of what these folks (many my age) will look like in 20 years. It reminds me of some of the ladies who work here who always wear super heavy earrings – their earlobes are twice as long as they should be. What happens to those holes?!? They can’t possible “grow closed”!
Never move to Portland, Oregon then. Heck, don’t even visit Portland. Not only do we have the ear plugs, they get them in their nose (the middle part, not the side) and their lips… gives me the willies. I would never get the regular piercings other than my ears (although I do like brow piercings, just on other people), but at least piercings are sorta normal. Then again: My neighbors are goth clothing manufacturers and I was looking at one of their websites the other day. Out of curiosity I clicked on the menu of piercings available. I had no idea. There is something like 20 different areas on your ear that they will piercing. With a variety of different piercy thingies. And have you seen the tongue forking? Why would anyone ever do that??? Thufferin thuccotash!
I once saw a young man 20ish with a tatoo on his face-it looked like a shattered windshield. He also had devil horns implanted under his sin on his for head. The scary part is someone will breed with him and bare him a child–can you imagine the”issuse ” that child will have?
I’m pretty open minded about pretty much any kind of piercing, face or otherwise. I find many of them very attractive (I think I spent too much time taking anthropology classes or something). But I’m right there with you on the giant ear hole piercings. They make me grossed out, not to the point of being sick, but I don’t like looking at it either.
And, CilleyGirl, you are right… Portland is apparently piercing mecca. What the hell is a tongue forking?
Even in my little KY town, we have some of those ear things…OMG the first one we saw I had to stop my husband from going up the the kid and saying somethng….we talked about him the whole day long….
As for a tongue forking…they have the tip of their tongue split…so it is forked like a snake….again OMG!!!!!
It bothers me too. There is one cashier at Dillons that had these giant skulls in her giant ear holes. I mean the holes have to be at least 2-3 inches in diameter or bigger.
Wow- I am shocked by these responses. Most of you asked what is the point of ear plugs, facial piercing and the such. Well indigenous tribal people have been using these things for generations as a way to mark and celebrate when they have gone through right of passage, tough great ordeal or an important time in their lives. Our culture has very few ordeals, vision quests and rites of passage that help to connect us with ourselves and our innate connection with our God source that other cultures have.
I feel that while not everyone who pierces or tattoos themselves understands this or undergoes the procedure with this intention- but nonetheless they often get many of the same benefits and find a connection to their own God source. Why do people do this to themselves? Probably because they are marking an important moment, creating for themselves their own rite of passage, marking themselves after undergoing a struggle or a journey of personal discovery and yes, at times doing it because they think it will make them look cool. Or they are simply following a trend. But often a change in outer self can often bring about a internal transformation.
Without valueing and acknowledging our inner growth as we move forward through our lives we loose out on the opportunity to see the beauty and magic all around us and get in touch with our higher selves. Tattoos and body modifications done in a ritualistic setting or as part of a spiritual acknowlegement using deeply personal imagery have a great capacity to empower the recipient. However, I have come to believe that any tattoo or body modification will have an energetic and psychological influence over the wearer and thus must be carefully considered before choosing a symbol or artistic rendering.
The more I study and admire the artistry of body modifications, that is happening on a larger scale, the more I am able to understand recognize the deeper beauty in them. And I am able to let go of my old notions about tattoos and piercings. They don’t make someone an outcast, low class or a person with poor judgement. I can see women and men with them as beautiful, deep and mysterious rather than low class, harsh or scary looking.
So before you become disgusted by a person or write them off because of how they choose to modify their appearance try understand them. Don’t just rush to judgement. After all how many of you have dyed your hair, shaved your legs, worn a girdle/spanx, a pushup bra or put on makeup to change the way you look or even the way you feel? To me it is all an expression of your inner self and if by expressing that self you can be more of who you are. Then by all means please do it because the more you are true to yourself, the more happiness you can have in your life. The more you are happy with yourself the more you tend to become less judgmental, less angry, and less resentful to people who are different from yourself.
What is funny is that all of us with “disgusting” piercings and tattoos are becoming a larger and larger group. We are becoming the work force. When we go out looking for good jobs it will be the other disgusting, ugly, freaks that will be doing the hiring. I am sure that when I put my MBA to use and start hiring people. I will look kindly upon those people. After all most police stations have changed their dress codes to allow for cops to have visible tattoos as long as they are not racists or sexist. So why would someone like that get hired? Well maybe they were the best person for the job? Who cares what the outside shell looks like?
A lesson that the Dali Lama is fond of teaching says- the separation we feel from each other is a false experience. Because what is true is that when you look at another person, you are looking at yourself and at a piece of the divine. I am you and you are me or as Christ love your neighbor, as you love yourself. And while this may be an overblown reaction to these replies- I feel that it hits a deeper truth than being confused about another person’s choice in body modifications. I don’t wear makeup, never have, but I have never looked at another woman and I thought wow she looks like a clown whore in all that makeup. Who would hire such a disgusting looking person?
Ya but you don’t understand – it makes her FAINT – so her reaction is NOT a normal – I just don’t like that! It’s that it makes her physically ILL! I don’t think she’s writing off the PERSON … just the expression that the person CHOOSES. We’re not in Africa or Australia or any other indigenous tribe – we’re AMERICANS!!! Let’s try to LOOK like it???
And these peeps get great jobs like garbage men! Ugh – it narrows the jobs that peeps will hire you for too.
Just some other thots.
Why can we think cabbage is gross but we’re not allowed to think ear plugs are gross?? It’s a matter of personal preference. I don’t have a problem with the PERSON doing it, I just happen to think it’s gross. And, I’m sorry, but a young person with fifty to a hundred piercings isn’t marking a special or important moment. They’re just addicts, just like other people are sugar addicts, exercise addicts, tobacco addicts, adrenaline addicts, etc. Just my opinion.
i just wanted to chime in and say i really appreciate bridget’s response. i thought april was just pointing out that she gets a visceral reaction when thinking about the act of stretching or cutting, which i can totally understand. we all have weak stomachs when it comes to something, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
as for the many of the other comments, its perfectly fine to consider tatoos or other forms of body modification not the right form of personal self-expression, but many of these comments are starting to border on hate remarks… the fact is that you have no idea why another person chooses to express themselves by the words they use, the clothes they dress in, what they write, what profession they take up, what they eat, and what they put on or into their bodies. the judgement i’ve seen in some of these comments is quite disappointing and disturbing – please watch what you say.
bridget put it more eloquently than i did, but i’ll add in a quote i heard once from a trans woman: “natural delights in diversity – why can’t we?”
*on a totally separate note, i must say that i found this blog about a month ago and i really enjoy it – please keep sharing with us
Very well put, Bridget! And an excellent reminder that we are looking at a piece of the Divine when we look at anyone … I dare y’all to look AT A PIECE OF THE DIVINE and say “eww gross”!
OMG I would puke if I saw that on the street. Suppose we have weak stomaches, April?
I’m with you April on the ear holes. I don’t think they’re attractive. I can only think that the career aspirations of these people with multiple piercings will more than likely be limited to working in a call center. The thing that gives me a headache, is seeing a beautiful bride complete with gorgeous hairdo and makeup, with a barbed wire tatoo running around her upper arm.
I am 100% with you. I don’t know why but I have a really visceral reaction to it. Can’t look at someone with those giant plug things in their ears. Just….can’t….do….it.
I know EXACTLY what you mean! It totally grosses me out. I mean they are not members of some African tribe that does those things because in some far back time before anyone else roamed the earth they did that for religious reasons or something. STOP IT! That is what I want to scream. Just STOP. But…but…the face piercing gets me something terrible. We had a guy come in to collect our recycling and he had pierced his entire face. I couldn’t even look at him. Bleck. It literally made me gag. Ahhhhhhh.
Blue skies…butterflies…cotton candy…
I agree!
My husband calls it an “industrial accident.” He says it must have been an unusual insutrial accident since no one in his/her right mind would intentionally do that to themselves.
He also says that to kids who dye their hair weird colors. It embarrasses our kids but he doesn’t care!
I am right there with you! And God forbid if I am at a restaurant and my server has those….I completely lose my appetite.
Ok, I realize that I’m in the minority here. I don’t mind piercings or tattoos. It’s a form of self expression. I don’t have any tattoos myself and I’ve only gotten my ears pierced but in my group of friends I’m the odd one out. I say live and let live. And no, it wouldn’t bother me if my son chose to do either of those things. Although I’ll be honest and say that the horns and tongue splitting thing would be a tough one.
(funny smirk) Maybe I’m weird, when I see them I think of my great gramma (before she passed away – bless her heart). She was nearing 100 yrs old. Well, I’m sure you’ve heard your ears and your nose don’t quit growing…though her nose would have been called normal by all standards, her poor ear lobes were quite…substantial.
Call me old fashioned…or whatever ya want…but these folks are gonna want one day re-think their choices!
I invision the poor ear lobes without the gauges at say…75 years old! They’re gonna look mighty funny (or pitiful)!
While I really don’t care one way or the other what other people do with their bodies… when I see the big ear-holes, I always think they look like a place to snap a carabiner… or a grommet on a tarp. LOL
“Please! Please don’t do that to your ears! I won’t be able to look at you without getting sick or farting!” I gotta quit speed reading.
I know what you MEAN! Ugh! I hope that the Lord helps you and you are turned away from looking at WORTHLESS things … b’c they upset you so much.
I don’t know why – but I do think it’s a fad! And I do think that there will be a fortune made by some surgeons.
Hang in there!
When I see young people with a lot of tattoos, or looking like a tacklebox exploded in their faces, I just can’t help but wonder how they are going to explain the holes (I assume the tackle will be gone by then) and the faded, blurry skin paint to their grandkids.
They are making tattoo ink now that can be made to disappear with some sort of laser light treatment, but holes and dimples left buy piercings will always mark them as having spent time as a ‘wild child.’
If I had the money, I would invest NOW in future cosmetic technology to “fix” piercings and new technology in tattoo removal. It’s the future, I tell ya!
(And I have a DISCREET tattoo I am very happy with.)
I always think of this little fact when I see those ear plugs.
Aren’t the ear lobes, along with the tip of your nose, the two parts of your body that keep growing as you age? So some of those ear lobes could be hanging down to the shoulders by the time they are 75-80! I just hum to myself – do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro…
Also, it irks me when someone with all the piercings or other gobble dee gook gets all offend if they get a second glance – they are putting it out there to express themselves, they WANT people to look at them, so how can they be offended just by an extra look – maybe they WANT to be offended????
I totally agree with you!! That is one of the grossest things I’ve ever seen people do to their bodies. Right up there with the neck stretching the Kayan people do. Gross!! I can’t even look at people who wear those. Have you ever seen what it looks like without the plug in there???? Gross!!!
I love it here in Portland…’tho I’m not a big fan of the sagging empty earholes, I am a HUGE fan of the tolerance we breed…even if it means a person’s empty earholes will sag to the ground.
I was taking computer classes once a week at the mac store and every few weeks I got this kid that had one of those hole things in his ear. You could tell he was making it bigger as time went on. I was so distracted and a bit grossed out that it was had to concentrate on what I was supposed to be learning. Every week I hoped that he wouldn’t be my instructor and that if he was I could learn something instead of trying not to look at that thing. I have to say of all the people I had in my year of classes he was the most boring and least intelligent instructor that I had.
Live and let live but…I have a hard time with the huge holes. It really bothers me. A friend of my daughter’s has them and he’s a terrific guy, it just wierds me out. I can appreciate the beautiful art work in tatoos although I’d never get one.
Ick…One picture in particular made me want to sneeze. The ring in the nose. You know how when you get a cat (or dog) hair tickling just barely the inside of your nose & it makes you sneeze? That’s what that reminded me of. Ick!
My sister has plugs, I know for a fact they are the exact diameter of a starbucks straw. But they don’t bother me, they kind of fit her personality, she also has several tattoos. But maybe I come from a weird family, I got my belly button pierced as part of a dare… from my DAD (the dare, he didn’t do the piercing)!
I could’ve gone the rest of my life without seeing that picture with the lip thing going on. Oh my gosh. I’ve thought about that plastic surgeon thing myself. Someone somewhere is wise to that future need and practicing up on some special procedure or transplant of some sort for the ear hole thingy – they’ll make a pretty penny and they should from all of those stupid heads doing that. What if it gets caught on something? Geez.
I was going to comment on your post regarding your c-section; but thought my comment wasn’t worth the effort. Now you post this and I must comment.
Most of my life I’ve been an easy touch to faint. I don’t get sick. Blood and guts don’t creep me out. My body just shuts down and slams me to the floor.
Just this year I thought I was getting over it. I was forced into a life & death situation and found the whole thing interesting. I did not feel at all faint.
Then, I read your c-section post. Geez. You’re a good writer. I kept reading until I had to walk away. Those fainting feelings rushed right back just like old times. It wasn’t until tonight that I could finish reading the post. Now, you post the whole ear hole thing. I’m with you on that.
Just wanted to let you know I enjoy your posts.
PS — I tell my kids don’t pierce or tattoo yourselves. I delivered you perfect and beautiful.
Yikes, I’m tattooed. I don’t think it’s such a big deal.
I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that is all it is – an opinion. Some people think dyed hair, breast augmentation, botox etc. is totally disgusting. And feeling faint at something that one perceives to be gross actually has a medical explanation, something having to do with your body’s blood pressure not being able to handle the rush of adrenaline, it runs in families, my husband and daughter both have it.
Bevy said:
“We’re not in Africa or Australia or any other indigenous tribe – we’re AMERICANS!!! Let’s try to LOOK like it???”
Huh? I believe they are called American Indians, and there were 98% more of them here BEFORE European Americans came and several tribes practiced body modification. Some still do. I’m not sure what you think an AMERICAN “looks like” but I’m getting the idea that it’s pretty restrictive and doesn’t include much variety. Wow, just like Bridget, I’m a little disappointed in the comments.
Yes, the comments have gone in a strange direction. I had to go read my post a couple times to see what I said. I’m not talking about the actual person or tattoos. I’m talking about the stretched out holes in the ears and the panic that surges through me when I encounter them. I have the same reaction to any cutting, slicing, stitching or needle puncture of the skin. The older I get the worse it becomes. I have yet to actually faint because I can usually calm myself and get a grip, but there have been a couple times when I had to hold onto something to keep from falling. I do wonder what makes a kid decide they want to stretch out their earlobes? Isn’t it painful?
First off, let me say that I love your blog, I check it every day, you and your family are very funny.
About the piercings and tats, I find them hilarious, I struggle not to laugh in their faces. They are being individualistic by doing the same thing as everyone else of their age and social class. The price of being cool in America in the twenty first century is to mutilate yourself for the sake of fashion, so you won’t look out of place. Very funny and truly sad…
Oh my. First Rechelle steps in it and now you. (Kidding, kidding! I love you both.)
I completely understand what you’re saying. Some of that makes me a little queasy too. It’s not the person, it’s the stretching. I try to just look past the big gaping holes and look at the person. Looking someone in the eyes when they talk helps, but sometimes eye contact is not easy for a shy person like me. It’s good practice though.
You know what really gets me? Belly button piercing. I even think it looks kinda cute on someone whose stomach doesn’t look like mine. (Four children and your stomach is never the same. If that’s not true for you, I don’t want to hear it.) I just have this weird thing about belly buttons. I can’t stand for someone to touch mine and I can’t stand to see someone picking at their own. Those belly button piercings FREAK me OUT! In fact, just writing this comment has freaked me out.
Why are y’all so hung up on EXTERIORS? Y’all need to get past whatever’s happening on the exterior … piercings, tattooes, long hair, weird hair, shaved head, zany clothing, etc … and actually TALK TO the human person inside before you judge them. For that matter, why are y’all so judgmental in the first place???
Last time I had to go the the OBGYN, with a pregnancy, the receptionist at our HMO had a huge diamond(zirconium?) piercing right under her lip. I was pregnant and miserable and hated that I had to look at something that looked like a GIANT ZIT! Every week!
My nephew has those ear holes, I don’t care to see them. It is better when the holes are occupied with some sort of earrings , at least.
That being said, I just spent a week in Hawaii and spent a day at the Polynesian Cultural Center last week. The island people that work there are mostly Mormon, and our religion discourages tattoos,(Oh, thank goodness) so it was weird to see so may tattoos, and so many stamped on tattoos on the visitors. But it is definitely part of the different islands cultures, and at least the tattoos are beautiful designs, and they have cultural reasons.
April, your posts are wonderful, and so are the discussions that go on in the comments.
Wow! Go Bridget and Yeah! to Lola-Dawn.
I like your honesty April. Fashion, peer pressure, self expression? All I can say is as a child of the sixties generation, I look at old pictures of myself and the thought that occurs is always the same, “WHAT was I Thinking!!”
K the lady that went off about tribal this or that? Ummmm yeah. I’m sure there are some people like that out there? But many just think it looks cool. It doesn’t-a stretched out hole-y earlobe in my own opinion looks gross and disfigured. The lip studs look like zits sometimes at first glance. Nothing attractive about them.
Anyway-I once years ago got my belly button done and it HURT but I left it in and eventually it grew out by itself but point being when I was in there some guy was getting his tongue done-it obviously hurt like hell from his face and his tongue was bleeding all over. UGH! I about wanted to throw up!
I want to cry when I bite my tongue. Doing it til it BLEEDS? On purpose? EEK!
…”without valuing and acknowledging our inner growth as we move forward through our lives we lose out on the opportunity to see the beauty and magic all around us…”
thoughtful & interesting comments, bridget!