I need to talk to you about something I struggle with every time I go out in public.
It’s a fear of mine.
It makes me feel week and faint.
It’s makes me want to vomit.
If the kids or Clay are with me they quickly look at me to see if I’m going to faint or start hyperventilating. Sometimes I will reach out and grip their arm and squeeze it really hard until the scary feeling subsides and I can think of something happy.
I was going to post a picture to show you, but I kept swaying back and forth in front of the screen and knew I couldn’t handle it.
Okay, you ready? Go look and then we’ll discuss this.
That was the nicest picture I could show you. It’s those holes in the ears. I don’t know why they bother me so much. For Pete’s sake, my ears are pierced. The young college crowd seems to be the most into doing this to their ears right now. Those big plugs they put in there, oh Lord, that just sends my head spinning.
I can’t seem to get away from it anymore. Everywhere I go there is another kid with huge holes in their ears. Why? Why do they do it? Will they regret it when they’re older. Is some plastic surgeon going to make a fortune repairing that damage in a few years? Can it be repaired? I just want it to go away and not hurt me anymore. It does, it hurts me. I’ve turned to my children and blurted with desperation in my voice, “Please! Please don’t do that to your ears! I won’t be able to look at you without getting sick or fainting!”
Hopefully, I can overcome this fear because it really is crazy. I used to get scared of nose piercings and lots of ear cartilage piercings. Ouch! And the tongue, why the tongue?! He hurts so terribly to bite your tongue, why do people choose to pierce it?! Agh! I can’t take it!
Okay, that’s all. I just needed to share. Go about your day. I’m going to think of soft fluffy things and rainbows and candy.
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I love freedom of expression – in clothing, tattoos, piercings, hair. But the one thing that makes me nauseus is seeing these huge holes in people’s ears. Especially at a restaurant. It makes me want to throw up and I lose my appetite. Glad to hear I am not the only one.
I used to dress and act with the attitude of ‘people who know me know who I am and if they can’t get past the clothes, etc, then it’s their problem’. However, at one point someone said ‘do you care about this date/interview/etc? Then why don’t you try a little harder?’ I started trying a little harder. I think we all have to meet halfway.
I was a bit grossed out by enormous holes the first time I saw them in a National Geographic magazine. There’s a girl at work who has ear plugs. They could be mistaken for regular earrings until she takes them out. When she takes them out our more excitable coworkers make a lot of noise and run around hiding their faces. It’s kinda funny, like sneaking up behind someone till they jump. She also had a lip piercing that she kept a clear plastic spacer in till it started causing her problems, so she let it close up.
When I see someone who’s been in some kind of accident and is deformed, it’s hard not to stare. It’s almost impossible to avoid treating them differently. After reading all the comments, I wonder if it’ll be easier to treat someone with an involuntary problem properly if so many other people are doing it on purpose.
Welcome to my world! Cannot tell you (but I think you already know) how painful it is to NOT want to look at your own son.
Our youngest not only, “tunneled out” his ears, but he’s also pierced his septum! So along with the bright green sunglasses he cannot be without, come the big, blue metal circle thingees to stretch out his ear lobes, (about an inch now) and one big, purple plastic hook that hangs through his nose.
It’s more disgusting than I can describe. And, it’s the reason we have to pay ALL of his bills (he’s 18 and moved out in June) because WHO THE HELL WILL HIRE HIM LOOKING LIKE THAT!? So far… no one.
It’s been four months and I am ALMOST over beating myself up about this. I’m learning that it’s not my fault.
How I managed to raise one son to become a United States Army Ranger and another that’s quite content living under a bridge, I just don’t know.
I’m just practicing not taking blame or credit for either!
Love to you!
i used to work with a young girl, who had HUGE black plugs in both ears. when she got married and was so excited, all i could picture was a beautiful bride with these massive black plugs in her ears. they were bigger than a quarter, so disguising it by taking them out wasn’t possible. i didn’t go to the wedding, but my curiosity got the best of me, so i had to see the wedding pics. it was not a pretty site. i imagine her trying to explain this to her daughter someday when she is getting married. “do as i say, not as i do!!!”
You’ll probably think me a little wierd, and maybe not such a good Mom – but I love my piercings, and the fact that my 12 year old has three. He has one cartlidge piercing, and he is gauging his ear lobes. He did a lot of saving of his own $$ to get these, and research – talking to folks who are guaged. He asked if it was possible to gauge up in such a way that when he removes the plugs in the fugure, that the ear will return to it’s pre-gauged state. Know what? It is possible! If you do it right! That’s his plan.
My personal opinion – and I’m maybe a little warped, my sense of priorities have definitely been shaped by the experiences in my life – I’ve got a brother who is serving a life sentence without possibility of parole for murder, all of my siblings are chemically dependent and in trouble with the law one way or the other… my opinion is this: if I don’t care if my kids get pierced or tats (but tats only after they turn 18!) as long as they are living their lives in obedience to God – THAT’s what’s important to me.
I’m so proud of my son. He loves God with a wholehearted devotion, and is committed to expressing himself as an individual – but in a respectful way.
April – I get your reaction to the ears. I feel the same way about some of the body piercing that I’ve seen of late (yes, I live in Portland! LOL!) and I could never do some of those piercings to myself. I think it just comes down to the fact that we’ve got to honor one another, you know?