Five years ago today I was waiting in a lobby at St. John’s Hospital for my name to be called. After three natural births that contained zero preservatives, additives or food coloring and one terrible, awful miscarriage that still haunts me at times, I was carrying around a baby that decided to use my body like LazyBoy recliner. The attempt to turn him while he was still in my belly was the most painful thing I’d ever experienced and remember, I’d given birth without drugs three times, I thought I’d be able to handle two men pushing on my belly a little bit, but no, I had to ask them to please, please, please stop.
I never found out what gender I was having before my kids were born. I liked the surprise, but I knew this had to be another boy. He was huge inside my belly. Stretched out with his head under my ribs and his butt sitting on my hip bone and his toes tickling my bladder without reprieve. My doctor decided to give me another week to see if the baby would turn. I was two weeks from my due date. My mom came to help take care of the kids thinking I would have the baby any second and we all waited and waited.
One night a couple days after the failed attempt to turn the baby I felt a huge swish in my belly and some relief from the hernia that had erupted from my belly button. It was such a huge movement I yelled, “Oh! I think the baby turned!” The next day I had an appointment with my doctor to check the progress. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when he confirmed that, no, the baby had just moved but was still not turned correctly. That’s when I looked at my doctor and said, “I want it out, now.” He knew I was miserable. I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t poop, the energy that I would have used to perform all the amazing tasks I’d done the previous moments before the birth of my other children was being used to walk, stand and go to the bathroom every five minutes. Did I mention we were trying to sell our house? We had people walking through it every other day and I had to keep the house in tip top shape while being constipated and not breathing. I was done, I was toast, I was desperate to get that baby O U T.
I found myself begging for a c-section. Just do it, please, I neeeeed it out. My doctor agreed and he scheduled the surgery for early Monday morning which was two days away and an eternity for me.
I’d never had an epidural. I must say I found it terrifying. A huge needle going into my back, no thanks. I cried just because I was so scared. Clay thought it must have hurt, but I was just so nervous that I didn’t know what else to do since I couldn’t run away or claw at the anesthesiologist who was only there to make me more comfortable. Seriously I didn’t like him the second I saw him and heard the words, “A little pressure.” A little pressure my big fat arse and believe me it was big…I have proof.
The surgery went as expected. The doctor pulled out a giant baby boy and like all my other births he was surprised by the size of the baby and glad I talked him into not waiting because it was obvious that baby wasn’t going to turn. Now, why would anybody be surprised that Clay and I would have big babies? I’ve never understood this. We are huge people. Do you really think a woman that is six feet tall would have a tiny baby? I don’t think so. Weird doctors, weird nurses, weird tiny thinking people.
So, we had another boy. We cried, we laughed. The doctor hooked up the epidural pump and I was wheeled into a big room with a lot of other patients to recover. I remember the curtains were very close to the bed, but I don’t really remember how I got there. The nurse came to check on me, I told her that I was starting to have cramps and she nodded her head. It’s normal, right? After you give birth you have those awful cramps. I’d felt it all before, nothing new. Clay came in and showed me pictures of Levi and then I was wheeled to my room. Long narrow halls filled with so many lights, so many lights that burned my eyes and the cramps, oh the cramps, I hoped they would give me something for the cramps. The lights, they were so bright and the incision it burned.
The nurses asked me to just roll onto the bed and not worry about all the tubes they would move them with me. But, what about my incision, it’s all going to fall out. I can’t do this, I don’t want to roll, no, it hurts, it will all come out if I roll. They coaxed and assured. I shook and cried. They patted me on the shoulder, tucked me in and left me in my tiny room. Clay brought in Levi. I nursed him and then begged for Clay to take him. I never wanted my babies in the nursery at the hospital, I always wanted them right there by me and then I wanted to get home as quickly as possible. But, this time I couldn’t hold the baby, my arm was numb and the burning pain from the incision was too much. I cried and moaned. A nurse came in to check me, she asked on a scale of 1-10 what was my pain? Well, 10 would probably mean I was a big sissy and near death. I was still awake and able to breath and every other woman I had ever talked to said that having an epidural was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to them, so I said, ” Five, maybe six.” and then I went back to weeping and cringing and moaning. The nurse looked at the epideral pump and left.
I looked at Clay who had not left my side since we entered the room, “Honey? I don’t know how much longer I can take this.” He didn’t know what to do, how to make it better, they were giving me drugs, I should be fine. “Do you want to hold the baby?” I looked at that sweet little boy, so perfect, so beautiful. “No, I can’t.”
Another nurse came in to tell me how to take care of my baby. She was a big bossy woman. She told me all about pacifiers and how to use them. I wanted to shove a pacifier up her nose, but I was in too much pain so I just nodded my head. Does she not know I have three other children? Idiot.
Finally, an angel entered my room. My new nurse that just started her shift. She looked at me and introduced herself. “You don’t look like a c-section mommy. Are you in pain? You shouldn’t be in any pain. I’m calling the anesthesiologist.”
The pump wasn’t working. I had been without any pain meds from the moment they had hooked up the pump after surgery. Good times, fun stuff. We got some gift certificates for our trouble to use in the gift shop. Good thing I’m a forgiving person.
When my kids came up to visit the big bossy nurse came in to check on the baby. She thought this was my first delivery because I’d never had a c-section before. She apologized for telling me how to take care of my baby and asked why I hadn’t told her that it wasn’t my first. It’s was too long of a story and I was too tired, I told her it was no big deal and thanks for the help.
The rest of the story is that I had a terrible reaction to the epidural and couldn’t walk for a few days. A neurologist was called in and I drug my foot around for awhile. Clay didn’t think I’d ever walk again and was working out the details in his head how he would care for me the rest of my life. He didn’t tell me this until much later.
My mom had to go back home the day I got home with the baby. I was so glad to be homeschooling my two older children so they could help carry the baby while I recovered. Church friends brought meals and cleaned my house. It was a strange, but wonderful time.
Eight weeks after Levi was born we moved to a new house in Missouri. I did all the packing by myself and took as many loads in my van that was possible with the children helping me lift boxes and the baby. It was crazy. I would have lost my mind if I wouldn’t have had such a wonderful husband, three sweet children willing to help and the most beautiful baby that I’d ever seen snuggling with me to calm my nerves and ease my pain.
I remember looking at him one night while he was screaming bloody murder and thinking, I wonder what you will be like in five years? Where will we be? What will you be doing? What will you sound like, look like, act like?
Today I’m thinking those same thoughts. What will he be like when he’s ten? What will he look like?
I’m glad we got through those first few moments of his life. I don’t know what we would do without him. And I don’t think epidurals are all they’re cracked up to be, I’ll take natural child birth any day, thank you very much.
Happy Birthday Levi, I love you. You’ve turned my world upside down….thanks.
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Wow. It’s odd, isn’t it, how much pain Mommy’s are willing to suffer? I can picture myself in that bed, in utter pain and yet saying “oh, it’s not that bad, I guess.” He’s such a cutie–I loved “five”. Great age.
Thanks so much for sharing – it brought back a lot of memories. Even with all the pain and troubles I’d do it again if I could. (Don’t tell anyone I said that.)
I don’t even like children and I thought that was a wonderful story. I hope that you shared with him this story. Not to say look what you put me through, but how he made such an interesting and powerful entry into this world.
all five of my kids were natural childbirth. I am so thankful that I never had to endure a c-section. I’ll take contractions over surgery any day. Wondeful post. My baby just turned two and I am already weepy over the fact that she isn’t a baby anymore and I won’t have anymore babies. I don’t know what I’ll do when she’s five. I might need some medication. Yeah, probably.
What a terrible experience for you! I’m glad everything turned out better though and hope you have a really terrific week!
Another Birth Day for you. Happy #5 Levi and Happy #4 April!
Ahhh….birth stories, there’s nothing like ‘em! And sometimes they just have to be told.
When you look back at things don’t you marvel at “how the heck did I do it?” Would you do it today? Pack up a house and move with little kids and a newborn? Heck no! Hire me three men and a truck! Young moms are super women no doubt.
I’ve had hospital births, home births and even a water birth, excessive hemorrhaging and a prolapsed uterus, but NO c-section – Thank God Almighty! You are a stronger woman than me. God bless you!
Happy Birthday, Levi! May Jesus bless you!
I had to have an epidural with my 3rd (It was my first epidural). No c-section though. I was hysterical because he was premature and I didn’t realize I was in labor. When we got to the hospital I was 8 centimeters and I started wiggin. They had to calm me down so they basically said I HAD to get the drugs. At that point I didn’t care.
I had the worst reaction to it in the days to follow. I WILL NEVER HAVE ONE AGAIN. The after effects hurt worse than natural childbirth in my opionion. If I have to have a c-section with the next one they will have to hit me over the head with a club and knock me out. Or just drugs to knock me out will do, I guess.
Happy Birthday Levi. Give your mom and big hug today!
Happy I Gave Birth Day again. Sounds like you really earned this one!
What a beautiful post for a crazy lady! You amaze me.
Oh my goodness, April! What a thing to go through, and you thinking you were just being a big sissy! I’m so glad you were finally taken care of, that the reaction was only temporary, and that you were able to enjoy your new baby boy. Happy birthday to Levi, and may he always remember to thank his mama on his special day.
I only had one epidural out of four deliveries. They gave it too late and it didn’t help a bit. I was 19 and scared to death. The doctor scolded me for screaming the “f” word at an especially painful and scary moment. I wanted to kick him in the balls, but I also felt guilty for having yelled like that and tried to be a good girl afterwards. Caleb was posterior, refused to turn, and they almost did a C-section on me but he crowned just as they were getting ready to wheel me into surgery. After reading your story, I feel like such a wuss.
I had 2 c-sections and I’d never have one natural.
Eldest was postieur and crooked and they slammed him off my left hip for 9hrs with their drugs before they did their c-section. Of course, the pain was all in my head… not the c-section… the aneth… guy… was my hero.
Little boy was postieur and straight and I told the resident, been here done that, get him out. Then his heart rate dived and I one the argument.
This brought a tear to my eye.
My one and only childbirth was all natural, cause I too was scared to death of an epidural. I have witnessed child births with epidurals since then, and was always somewhat jealous. Reading this made me realize that I wouldn’t take it back…every single pain I endured was well worth it.
Thanks!!!
Your story almost wins the ‘who has the worst birthin stories’, but I always come back to my girlfriend’s sister-in-law, who BROKE HER PELVIS pushing out her gi-normous baby. Can you imagine!!
Happy birthday, and gave birthday to you both!
Thanks for sharing your story with us. What a sweetie he is!
Happy Birthday!! Levi
and Happy Giving Birthday to you April…..
Both my boys were natural….I truly enjoyed it…didn’t want an epidural and from your story so glad I didn’t need one….
This brought tears to my eyes. My oldest will be 5 in 9 days. At the risk of sounding cliche..time really does fly.
Happy birthday Levi!!! OMG what a story April! Happy-birth-day to you too!
Yep, I have have 3 girls – two were natural and one with an epidural. I HATE epidurals!!! I would much rather go all natural, thank you very much!
Happy “Whole Hand” to Levi!
Happy Birthday to Levi! I’m sitting here with my legs crossed and it’s been over 40 years. hahaha
You’re a brave woman, and a great mommy, April.
Post baby pictures, pleeeeeeezzzz!!!
My one and only birth was a c-section with a spinal block that didn’t work so I felt them cutting on me – then I screamed. Then came the morphine and gas. I would take a regular birth any day over a c-section.
Happy “I Gave Birth Day”! And a happy birthday to Levi, too!
Epidurals are the bomb! I guess, when they work right. Mine were awesome.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVI
I’m with you on the epidural stance. My 1st was a c-section (breech baby). My 2nd was a very tough VBAC…they kept threatening another c-section every stage of the way. We made it through, but because it was a VBAC they required me to stay in bed on constant monitoring. So, with no way move around to ease the pain, I had an epidural. It was on too heavy so I couldn’t even tell when to push, and then my right thigh was numb and tingly for months on end! #3 was a completely natural childbirth, and by far the easiest and best! (Not sure where to put #4 on the spectrum…currently in the international adoption process)!
Congrats on another Birth Day! And happy birthday to Levi!
I never wanted an epidural either. Partly because I just didn’t want the drugs, but also – and more so – because the thought of a needle going into my spine was far more terrifying to me than the thought of giving birth. I had horrible back labor with my first child, but I did it. No epidural. Then with my daughter – who ignored her due date completely and probably would still be inside me (five years later as well) if it was up to her) I had to be induced, and I came close to a spinal, but by the time they located an anaesthesiologist, I was at 9 cm and they told me to just go ahead and push.
What a story you have told – you’re amazing. And you have four beautiful children. Happy Birthday to Levi! And Happy Birth Day to you!
You know my husband always says “God gives women a wonderful ability to forget the pain of childbirth so they will do it again.” I always say “you get over here and spit a bowling ball out the opening the size of a pea and will see who forgets first.”
Happy Birthday Levi.
Oh, I love birth stories! Except that one was kind of horrible… Maybe you should tell a good one, now.
I hope I never, ever, ever, ever have to have a c-section. Horrible.
Happy “Gave Birth Day!”
“1 to 10 – what’s your pain?” That has got to be the worst question ever. I never know how I’m supposed to answer that. Am I supposed to be able to imagine worse levels of pain than this and rank them?
I had an ECV with my second. Sorry that yours was such a bad experience. The midwife told me it was one of those things that some doctors have a knack for and some don’t. She set me up with the best one in the practice for it. Mine wasn’t painful at all – just that strange sensation of all my insides rearranging themselves at once. The doc got him halfway around the first time and paused, only to see him go back. The second attempt he didn’t stop midway and the baby stayed turned. A week later – 38 weeks – out he came at 8 lb 13. I was so extremely glad I didn’t go late.
Congratulations on such a beautiful boy.
Happy Birthday Beautiful!
I had two c-section frank breech babies. My bladder will never be the same.
I am a wuss. I have had an epidural on all 3 of my deliveries. I guess its the nurse in me. I know I can have drugs…so give me drugs. With the last one, I was 4 days overdue and working my 4th shift in a row. I was in labor most of the day but didn’t want to go downstairs to L&D too early. (They pretty much strap you to the bed and don’t let you up-even before the drugs arrive). When I finally went downstairs around 4:30, I was at an 8. I started freaking out then because a) my contractions were right on top of each other and I was nervous they wouldn’t get the epidural done in time and b)my husband wasn’t there yet. All ended well, though. Got my epidural and my hubby both in time along with a beautiful baby boy around 7:20 pm! Love the epidural…Stadol just makes me feel drunk.
Would like to try for a natural delivery but I don’t think I’m tough enough!
People don’t believe me when I tell them I had mine naturally. I think now epidurals are considered the norm. I was home in 24 hours hanging laundry on the line. My boys are 25 and 21. I miss their puppy-dog smell.
Great post. My daughter just had her first baby natural and although I totally would have supported her had she had an epidural or other drugs, I was thrilled she didn’t. And surpised, very surprised.
)
I had a C-section with her and recovery is no picnic.
Well you did it. You made me cry this morning. Thanks for sharing your sweet story of levi.
Dear April,
Please don’t write anymore posts like this until after I’ve had my baby.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lindsay
Wow! What a story! I am so glad that someone finally figured out that everything wasn’t “fine.” You have beautiful children – even if they WERE huge babies!
Happy Birthday, Levi! And good work, April! ;D
Such a sweet picture on the Jay Hawk ~ Happy Birthday your your son. We recently had a friends daughter take their little girl that has cancer all over town and had her picture taken in front of every single Jay Hawk…her name is Jayden…goes by Jay..sweet & special pictures for sure.
I just love birth stories….even the not so pretty ones. As a mama who expected to delivery naturally, got through eighty-eight hours of contractions only to find that baby wouldn’t cooperate and an emergent c-section was imminent, I can feel your pain to a degree, complications included. Even through all that, I did it again and if I weren’t so daggone old, I’d probably do it a third time.
Happy birthday, Levi! Happy birth day, Mommy!
Happy Birthday to Levi! He’s such a cutie. Thanks for sharing with us.
C-sections, epidurals and tall women. I know of what you speak. Only my epidural was creeping upwards and the anesthesiologist had casually mentioned in conversation that if it got to high it could cause my lungs not to work!?!? Well, it was panic city from then on and of course I couldn’t breathe! They finally got that babyzilla(10lb7oz)out of there and put me under. I haven’t had anymore babies since then. But I did tell my ob/gyn that I wanted to be knocked out no matter what if another delivery was in my future.
“The attempt to turn him while he was still in my belly was the most painful thing I’d ever experienced and remember.”
Yeah…I did that, with my 2nd child, my daughter. She did turn, and was born a few hours later. 9.8 pounds! I read your story and it brought back the memories. She’s almost 16 now. I’m a few days late, but Happy Birthday to your son!