Good grief, the past two weeks have been crazy. I’m sure a lot of you are wishing you could stop time and yell, “Hey! Let’s just slow down a bit! Stop the crazy train and let me off!”
Time for a bullet point post.
On the Farm Front
- We slaughtered two of our pigs. Together they weighed over 500 pounds hanging (that means after they’ve cleaned out the innards). That’s a lot of pork, man. I think the place did a better job with the cured meats than the last butcher we used. Yummy bacon and sausage.
- Preacher killed one of our turkeys by playing with her too hard. Dadgum it.
- I love the turkey. Not sure if I have the heart to make the one we have left our Thanksgiving feast. She acts a bit like a dog. Roosts on our back porch, waddles around and peeps incessantly. No wonder Preacher likes to play with them.
- We have too many chickens. If you want some chickens please let me know, they are all laying now.
- If you want some eggs…refer to above comment.
- My garden sucked big donkey wads this summer. Mostly because I didn’t spend much time out there and I let the chickens totally molest everything that was growing.
- I’m a bad gardener. Bad, bad, bad. Oh well, next year.
On the Job Front
- My real job is starting to rule my days. I’ve got three big events to plan this year and make sure they are successful.
- I like my job. I work mostly from home and then I go to a lot of meetings.
- Some of my meetings are in coffee shops and some are at the country club by the pool and some are in an office. I like the poolside meetings the best. Obviously, those won’t be happening now that school has started and the pool is closed.
- I’m learning a lot about marketing.
- I need an assistant. Hahaha! Don’t we all?
On the Debt Front
- I really want to type GO TO HELL! But, that wouldn’t be very nice or encouraging now would it?
- We have been too relaxed this month.
- By relaxed I mean we didn’t stay organized with our budget, we let big things sneak up on us and drain our emergency fund, we lost our diligence.
- We are out of money and payday is not until next week. I hate that feeling.
- I whined to Clay last night that all I really want to do is go SHOPPING! And go on VACATION!
- I won’t be going shopping. Or on a vacation. Debt sucks big donkey wads.
- Does anyone know what a donkey wad is? Me neither, but I say it a lot. Sorry, I’m sure it’s not good.
- My daughter is taking a personal finance class at school. I’m friends with the teacher and she let the entire class know that I call Dave Ramsey, Damn Ramsey here on my blog. Now the class keeps accidentally saying Damn Ramsey. Gotta love that. DAMN RAMSEY!! Hi kids! Be nice to your teacher and don’t do what I do or say what I say.
- Time to take hold of the reigns again. I’m going to order my coupons, use cash in my envelopes and say NO, NO, NO to everything.
- Then I’m going to cry on my pillow for the bar stools and pot rack that will never be in my kitchen.
- Clay says, “Yes, yes, you live such a tortured life.” He has no sympathy for my lack of bar stools or pot rack
- Guess what I’m going to get Clay for his birthday? Hm?
Now, line up those that you love and give them a big hug and kiss from me…right down the line. If you’re at work, then just shake hands, mkay?
Need a Chicken Doctor?
Contact 
April,
Thanks for being honest about the messes that we all get ourselves into. I think Clay needs a pot rack for his birthday. My husband is getting a GPS for his.
)
Bonnie
SELL THE EGGS! Then you can say Damn Ramsey. Oh, I think Clay neeeeeeds Barstools…He can sit and vist while you cook, monitor the kids homework, you can work on the Damn Ramsey budget together…
Good thing the teacher has a since of humor, I told one of our daughters chocolate honestly was a food group & they just didn’t teach it as thats all kids would want….at 6 she argued with the teacher to include it in the test…yeah…I got a phone call on that one..
I think Clay neeeeds a wonderful christmas gift…..Pot Rack!
Clay totally needs some barstools for his birthday. Ha!
Girl, the debt thing will get better. It’s a lot like surfing. Sometimes you catch a big wave, and you are doing great, thinking you’re on top of the world, and other times, you totally like, wipeout. It’s all good.
I’ve let the chickens destroy my perennial beds. Who knew hens loved hostas so much? I have stem stubs. The kicker is the newspaper came to do a story on me, my house, garden and chickens for a Sunday feature. I was mortified. I’m going into hiding now.
I don’t want eggs or chickens. I do want bacon. I will come weed your garden, clean your house and protect your turkeys for some bacon. Lot’s ‘o bacon.
Have a super holiday weekend!
Clay, give that woman a hug!
April, when I pick Josh up from school, I’m going in a little early so I can steal some kid’s bicycle wheel and send it to you for a pot rack. Don’t worry, I’ll find out which bike belongs to the meanest kid in school and take that one.
Seriously, you guys are doing a great job. I admire you for sticking to this thing. Wanna hear a serious budget fail from our house? I was jumping for joy last week over the fact that I had $600 extra left in the checking account. I didn’t know how that could be possible, but I’d balanced and rebalanced, and dangit, I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. We were finally getting ahead in spite of the back to school and off to college expenses! Then I got a call from my insurance agent.
Agent: “Uh, did you get your bill?”
Me: “Huh? What do you mean?”
Agent: “You haven’t paid July or August’s bill.”
Me: “What! I paid for two months at the same time.” (Thinking to myself: “State Farm Lady is on crack!”)
Agent: “Yes, you paid May and June at the same time.”
Me (looking frantically through checkbook register): “Duh-huh-uh…I mean, I’ll make that payment online right now.”
There went that extra $600 along with all my plans for it.
Pot Rack. Time to get creative. Long/Thick screw bolt into ceiling beams w/ anchors. Heavy rope chain across. S hooks. Voila, A pot rack.
Donkey Wads are exactly what you’re pretending to not know they are…
I just love your blog, you always make me smile! By the way I call him Damn Ramsey now too. I just seems so natural don’t you think?
Boy, you do liven things up a lot! But still, you are a good example – if only I would follow your get-outta-debt procedures! I figure that now I’m back in a small town, don’t drive far, rent is half what it was in Atlanta, I should be able to at least make dents in the debt!!!
Thanks as always for a delightful blog,
Nancy in Iowa
In my old kitchen, I used an old iron gate as a pot rack. I used black metal s hooks to hang my pots. It worked very well and looked terrific. I got tons of compliments on it. I don’t have a place for it in our new house, so it’s sitting in the garage unused. Maybe you could find one cheap somewhere.
I’m thinking it is time to get Clay that Pot Rack and maybe if he is good he can get the bar stools for Christmas???
No vacations around here for a loooong time either. None on the horizon so we packed up the kids and went camping. Should be “free” or mostly so, right? Three days site fee was $69, fishing licenses $30. Cheaper than a beach house on the coast though.
I had a new patch of lettuce doing great in an unused (can you believe it?) flower bed. Then a chicken ate the whole row of Buttercrunch.
Where’s the ax?!!
I wish we could have our own pigs to slaughter. Ew! I didn’t mean that in the I want to kill something way, just the I want to eat it way.
Debt does suck donkey wads. We get paid once a month on the first of the month, and if I don’t plan just right, we could literally go without food or gas. Before I went back to work this summer, we had a month where I raided our piggy bank at the Coinstar because we needed to buy food until the following week when payday would occur. I vowed to never let that happen again. But for as much as I plan and get two steps ahead, I get those things that wham me upside the head. Like a note from the tax man (I will never prepare our taxes again) or new brakes. I just can’t ignore that squeaking that is getting progressively louder. And the car is only a year old. How do I get myself into those troubles?
I’ll take some chickens! Going to lose another one soon to whoever knows what she got into. Second one this year. So sad. Down to eight, six that lay and two that think about it. And the fricken rooster. Debt sucks beyond belief! We think we are a head, and then it rears it’s uglyness again and again. Oldest daughter is going to college next year to become a vet. Umm…..more debt to be a vet. The veggie garden did ok, an acre of mainly weeds but we got some out of it. Love your site and the humor that you write about. Makes my day.
Here’s a virtual hug. I would love the eggs and Preacher. Oh and some honey would be great too. I’m there for you. But you are on your own as far as the turkey. They kind of scare me.
Thanks for sharing all your worries, it makes us all sit back and take a real good look at what we’re doing!
My chickens have started laying again and sometimes we have sooo many eggs. I use as many as I can in my cooking, pavlova is great because it uses heaps of eggs but too many pav’s make your ass really big, so now I give the left over eggs to the kids and they have a competition to see who can throw it the furthest over the fence…..lots of fun!!
April, this post is the reason i started reading. Sooo firggin funny! donkey wads…exactly! applies to alot of things. I just paid bills, after a few big jobs, and viola! no money left…where the hell did it go??? my pig needs butchering, but its cheeper to feed her right now…essh!
Sounds like good advice on making a pot rack! Wish I had room for one myself. I think you’re doing extremely well, and by gosh you sure do work hard.
SMACK! Snap out of it!!! (in reference to your twitter about Moonstruck, not on your post about needing a hug!)
I imagine wads are either poop, or their mansacks, or something gross they hawck up. Either way, it’s nasty.
I’ve been talking myself out of stuff all week. I think it’s the “beginning to look a lot like Christmas” that’s doing it to me.
thanks for sharing the crazy part of life.
I am whining big time about debt and money these days, too. EVERYONE has their hand out. Took my teenager to the orthodontist yesterday. He tells her that her teeth are looking so good she can get her braces off early. Woo hoo! Party time! THEN, the assistant tells me that first we have to pay the entire balance due. “He won’t take the braces off if you still owe money on them.” But, you changed the rules! LMHO….my poor daughter may end up getting them off at their “regularly scheduled time” unless we can come up with an extra $800. And, these people have apparently never heard of “Damn Ramsey”, because her first suggestion was to put it on Visa. Grrrrr.
Maybe barter some of your pork for the bar stools or potrack…if not Clay would appreciate the gift I’m sure…
Total sympathy for lack of pot rack. I, too, have no pot rack, as well as no pot rack in future, owing to the donkey wads that appear to have absorbed all my cash. All I know about donkey wads is how absorbent they apparently are to any form of financial liquidity. I’m sure you’ve noticed. So write on, woman, because the only known thing that keeps donkey wads from multiplying is humor, sweet humor.
We retired and lost two thirds of our income. Social security and some small retirement accounts. We still have to pay the house and car payments. It’s the end of the month and we need new tires or another dr. appointment and there goes the $30 I had to maybe go out to eat one time that month. I feel your pain. I was thinking that there is probably a place “Feed the Hungry” or a soup kitchen that would take the eggs. Also check out Habitat for Humanity sales store. They might have a pot rack for the price of some eggs.
My kids would love a chicken… I don’t think city ordinances would let us have one!:}
Yep, I call him Damn Ramsey now to LOL. But if you stick it. it works. I just hate to stick to it. I did not the last 3 months, now paying for it in spades. Anyway, hang in there. Back to budgets, I want my budget back ; )
Sell the excess eggs and chickens! Maybe local restaurants will buy from you?
Most of us are having the budgeting/no spare $ problems so you aren’t suffering alone. The utility, medical insurance and Comcast bills keep getting higher, income stays the same-it just isn’t fair.What we all need is a day of retail therapy without guilt. Except I don’t remember what that feels like.
I’m sending hugs your way, but no kisses because I don’t know you THAT well. lol
Our boss is going to make us start reading Damn Ramsey books, and I love your name for him.
I haven’t been by in quite a while, I know you’ve missed me.
Sigh! Hugs all around. This spring/summer has given our money plan a real butt kicking…new (used) car, new dirtbike, home improvements, vacation & entertainment, broken canopy door on the truck because hubby can’t drive and chew gum at the same time (not really, but still dumb), ALOT more driving and a lot more gas, and losing $100/mo tax credit because the youngest turned 6. For the first time in over 2 years we have debt outside our mortgage. Urgh.
Time to order my Damn Ramsey books.
And start menu planning.
And stop eating out.
Even your bullet point posts are great; I love your writing gobs and gobs. And defnitely, a LOT more than big donkey wads.
Bake bake bake with the eggs and sell the cakes
I’d take the chickens off ya hands if I lived closer LOL do you think they would survive in a box to jolly ole England
x
Damn Ramsey teehee.
I just blew my budget on this ding danged trip. I want to go on vacation too. Maybe we could just go on a girls trip. That way the boys and Damn Ramsey wouldn’t be the wiser to me buying you a pot rack and new bar stools and you buying me a new entertainment center. See honey they were a gift from my friend…
I saw an old wagon wheel today… that might make a good potrack? I wish you were closer and I’d give you a big hug and buy some eggs while I’m at it. Would love some chickens too but so would my dogs.
Damn that Ramsey. Damn… but you keep on truckin’. We’re cheering you on and later, when you do get your pot rack in a debt free way, you can have a pot racking party.
I think you should get him big donkey wads for his birthday!!
I know the feeling about having no money (just got laid off), but keep plugging along and you’ll make it. Stay optimistic!
Buy each of your children a bar stool and your husband a pot rack for Christmas. The gift that keeps on giving.
And big donkey wads in their stockings!
I understand the money issue…we’re livin’ there, too.
April,
Boy do I feel your pain. It really sucks to not have money.
I try to do the Dave Ramsey thing but as soon as I get a decent amount in my emergency fund, it is time to pay property or income taxes AGAIN! When I hear these people call in on Dave’s show saying that they paid over $30,000 in 16 months, I want to scream!! And their household income as Dave inevitably asks, is $70,000 a year. Ha!
Just be happy you have an intact family and a husband who is supportive of you. This is my second marriage and my husband does not agree with D.R. at all. Compound that with his co-signing for his no account daughter for $17,000 who is already in arrears of $500, screwing my credit up as well. Oh I could go on. Life is such a mess.
Hugs,
charlotte
I just did a post about this web site and the service it provides. When I checked it for my area the ad was for home grown, free-range chicken eggs. Maybe you could do something like that. Check it out:
http://www.thefarmersgarden.com
Okay this debt pay off thing? I hear ya…I just woke up the other day and said “If I have to scrimp and be frugal ONE MORE DAY w/out shopping my eyes out I will completely go ballistic!!!” I think it’s that fall shopping spree that was ingrained at an early consumeristic age via shopping for school clothes.
My husband is trying to listen and promise a well planned and thought out “shopping spree lite” for me. He understands the needs, but doesn’t understand these things can’t be planned and thought out!!!
Anyway….
I’m so glad you’re posting again! Have you thought about a winter garden? I “rescued” a turkey once and took it out to my grandparents’ farm – my grandmother loved it. And by “rescued” I mean I asked the constable if it was considered stealing if I saved the turkey that lived down the street that kept pecking it’s leg tie apart and coming into our yard – those people had dire plans for it, I’m sure. He said that if it’s on our property, then we can do what we want – and then he said he never had that conversation with me. So, we stuffed Turkey Lurkey in a crate, threw it in the back of the truck, and hauled patooty out of town all the while she gobbled. Good turkey.
Hang in there! You’ll have those bar stools and pot rack one day. Your not alone in the money issue department.
Ummm…ask Clay what the term “shot my wad” means. His answer may enlighten you when you use the term “sucks big donkey wads”.
Freedom from debt is well worth sucking donkey wads. Hang in there.
My garden sucked this year too. Ugh.
I should probably be all nice and encouraging and say hang in there with the damn ramsey thing. but instead im gonna say go take a bath. then tell your hubby he should use the water to garden your plants… you know to save money on your water bill. heh that may help!
um, who the heck is damn, uh dave ramsey…..now you’ve got me doing it and I don’t even know who that is!
must be a debt-reduction specialist…i’ll google him.