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The Living Without Series

This is a series of posts that I wrote back in 2006 on living with less stuff. Check them out: liv011Living #2liv031liv04

Coal Creek Farm on Facebook

The Chicken Doctor

April

The Architect

Clay

The Pretend Post

Close your eyes and let’s pretend that I have a blog…wait…open your eyes, you need to read.  Okay, pretend I have pictures in this post.  By posting this pretend post I might get the energy to take the photos and post them.  Maybe.  Don’t count on it.

This is a picture of the cute fabric I bought to recover the porch cushions.

And this is a picture of all the items I bought for ten bucks at the most amazing garage sale in the world.

Oh!  And this is a picture of my new bangs which I had cut maybe a week or so ago and ever since I’ve been wondering if I should cut my hair really short, just because, the hair, it’s long and boring and I’m fat, which has nothing to do with the hair except that whenever I’ve been on the chubby side I’ve had short hair and so I feel the hair, it should be short.

So…that’s about it.

Thanks for coming.  Oh, WAIT!  I have a story!

Many, many years ago when those Breath Right Strips first came on the market, Clay decided to give them a try.  You see he sometimes he snores, especially when he’s laying on his back.  So he tried them and they worked.  It was a miracle sent from Jesus and whatever adhesive manufacturer was involved.

One night as I struggled to get to sleep, Clay started back in on his snoring.  I couldn’t believe it since he had on his little nose strip.  I looked over to see that one flap of the strip had lost its grip from Clay’s nose.  So, there he was with one flap up, saluting me like a soldier.   Slowly, I tried to press the flap back down, while Clay continued to snore.  After a few failed attempts Clay woke up and swatted at my hand and mumbled some incoherent words that didn’t sound very loving.  Then he turned on his side and was back asleep before I could explain to him that he had one flap up.

In the morning he woke up with that stupid nose strip sticking straight up in the middle of his big nose, he looked at me, “Was I snoring last night?”  I glared at him and said, “Go look in the mirror.”

After the ten minutes it took for him to recover from how ridiculous he looked he asked if that was why I was messing with his nose.  Dork.

***fast forward to the present***

Clay hasn’t used the nose strips for years, but for some reason he decided that with his allergies bugging him he needed to get back on the nose strips.  I told him he wasn’t snoring, but whatever.

He’s been wearing the nose strips and they are making him snore louder than he’s ever snored in his life!  It’s like they’ve had some weird adversive effect.  And the weird part is that Clay is convinced they are helping him.

Clay- I think these things really help.

Me- With what?

Clay- With my snoring.

Me- But you were snoring with that thing on your nose all night.

Clay- But, it’s better since I have it on, right?

Me- You weren’t snoring before you started wearing them.

Clay- So it’s helping, right?

Me- I don’t think you’re getting it.  You’re snoring louder than ever now.

Clay- But, I think I’m sleeping better.

Me- Glad one of is.

Clay- I should keep wearing them.  Remember one flap up?  Remember that?

Me- How could I forget?

Clay- Those were the good days.

Me- I’m going to flush those things down the toilet.

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