I’ve spent years preparing myself to be the best kind of mother possible for my teenage children. Through the studies of high school jazz choir, waaaay too many years of church campfire songs and listening to hours of Andrew Lloyd Weber, I have found the best way to communicate with them.
I can sell this method to you for nine-ninety-nine Or you can just watch this here video I made with my Kodak Easyshare Camera circa 2004 for free!
Warning: Turn down your volume, for the Love OF BABY JESUS and his Holy Gracious FATHER ALMIGHTY in Heaven, turn it down…we clear, the volume? Turn it down.
I decided to spend the day taking my baby Ellen along with me to shop. I only thought it was fair that she should get to come, after all she was there that day I gave birth.
Sixteen years after giving birth I bought the baby a new pair of shoes.
I still had to stop shopping and feed the baby and get her something to drink. Funny how some things never change.
For my ‘I Gave Birth Day’, I asked a couple of Ellen’s friends to meet us for dinner. You know, I thought it would keep her occupied while I enjoyed my day of celebrating. They brought her flowers and gifts. Uh? I think they were a bit confused. I’ll have to go over the rules of giving the person that actually did the birthing some flowers and gifts later. Kids these days, when will they learn proper gift etiquette?
Dinner was fabulous. That is, until the desserts came and they accidentally gave Ellen my celebratory piece of cheesecake on a chocolate scripted plate. I specifically told them that I gave birth to my daughter sixteen years ago, and this is how they congratulate me? I don’t think so.
Happy Sweet Sixteen Ellen. You’re my favorite daughter.