I have been meaning to repaint my childhood furniture that has been living with me since I was seven years old for the past sixteen years. My daughter has finally taken it upon herself to do this job. I couldn’t be happier. She’s also asking about curtains and reupolstering a chair in her room, painting the floor and the walls. Looks like she’s going to be busy and I’m going to be drinking iced tea.
My son Ike is getting some tutoring before school starts this fall. He was trying to ask his dad a question yesterday as he was being driven to his tutor’s house. It went a little something like this…
“Dad, dad, dad, when I’m done with that fart…farting…farter…fartering…”
“Isaac, do you mean tutoring?”
“Oh, yeah! When I’m done with that tootering, can we get something to eat?”
And then we all died laughing. Because in a seven year old’s mind when you talk about tutoring it sounds like TOOTering. And that’s the way it should be.
In other gross news, did you know that if you make jalapeno poppers and feed them to a person that has been struggling with bouts of diarrhea for a couple days they will start saying things like “spicy butt ring”, “jalapeno butt burn”, “hot hole”, “lava sphincter” and “jalapeno poopers”? This can all be avoided and should in any family with manners. Obviously my family is not one of those.
Carry on.
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Hahaha on the jalapeno popper comments! I was telling some friends how after my hubby ate some spicy Chinese food w/co-workers he “shat fire for days,” before I realized that not everyone is lacking in manners! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one willing to talk about “ring sting!”
Tooter…tee hee!!
Hey, checked out Margarets’s website! Love it!! Thanks of for the link.
Hugs!
Carmen (with a wanna-be green thumb!)
lmao my husband calls it the burning ring of fire
Whew! Glad to know we are not alone.
Have a great weekend.
This is so funny! You guys sound like our family! My husband and son talk about that kind of stuff all the time. People with manners would be appalled at the way that hubs talks about bodily functions.
Oh my God! I’m dying laughing right now! After a spicy meal, my hubs always declares he’s going to have to go sit in the creek after a visit to the bathroom. lol
I think that my husband may be related to you all.
It’s a boy thing. I hope they didn’t feed any to Preacher. My brother used to torture our dog with things like that.
You’re too funny.
Hilarious!
I always wonder about those crazy people that compete in those “how many jalapenos can you eat in X number of minutes”. Preparation H here they come.
Tutor–Farter. Same thing isn’t it? Love your stories!
Haha. love your style girl. keep on doing your thing, you do it so well and with such pinache. ole!
Oh and happy friday!
Very funny…tutor or fartering? You just have to write this stuff down, thanks for writing & sharing!
LOL! Would you believe some of those jalapeno comments have been made here? Burn in, burn out, baby!
My girls are cleaning the garage in preparation for a garage sale as I type this, and Jo has been cooking supper all week. Are we raising independent and industrious kids or what? Now if I could just get Jo to stop sleeping till noon–she could get twice as much done!
It tickles me pink to know that there is another family out there that has the same sense of humor as ours. My husband,in his younger days, once ate so many “Death Wish 3″ hot wings that the next day at work he was suffering the affects. He said that he had butt burn so bad that he was splashing himself with the water out of the toilet tank…not the bowl. He brought my mom, my aunt, & me to tears telling us the story. Funny thing, we’ve been together for 13 yrs and a couple mos ago was the first I ever heard it.
OK…I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now….and as of this post can no longer be silent. I love that there are other families that enjoy bust-a-gut laughs from toots, farts, etc. I feel much more normal now.
“Firewater” is the term that we use in our household. Definition: when liquid fire shoots out with the force of a fireman’s hose
OMG just snorted MtDew out of my nose…
that is too funny…
Similar incident around here was called
hot farts…
OMG thankyou so much…I needed that laugh:)
OH MY GOSH! Thank you! I really needed a belly laugh today and you provided the means for it! I love reading the posts that you and your husband post! I am PRINTING that one and POSTING it on the wall in my home office in a picture frame for future laughs!
I look forward to reading the continuing journey of Coal Creek Farm.
)
spicy butt ring. i’m dying here.
Ok, I seriously needed that laugh-out-loud stuff today after our sweet corn got knocked over by high winds (that was a bad deal, to say the least). Spicy Butt Ring? Stop! That is the best. I’ve had experiences similar to that with jalopeno studded pizza with a huge amount of greasy cheese (think major lactose intolerance)=double painful hot hole. But it tastes SO good I’ve actually tortured my body several times at that place.
It’s good to know we’re not the only ones that are lacking in manners. Last weekend while up at the lake (not our lake, but my sister’s new hubby’s, parent’s lake), after a couple cocktails I started to talk a little, shall we say, potty mouthed. Referring to the Explosive Metamucil Cookie Experience (EMCE) my husband and I had the week before was probably not the best topic, but hey! I thought it was funny and I did get some good laughs out of the in-laws (who are probably wondering what kind of family their son married into).
Thanks again for the honest blog! Love it!
It’s nice to know my family isn’t the only one that talks this way…I’m layghing so hard my eyes are watering! As my son used to say, “Those are NOT good nanners!”
jalapeno POOPERS!!! HAHAHAHAHA
OMG! It is so nice to know we are “normal” My SIL will say hes riding the porcelin pony!
Ahahaha!!! I’m just rolling! Thanks for the laugh!
‘Round here, we call that “Mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore butt”. It’s a dangerous, dangerous thing.
)
such a cute kid quote!! I am sure they keep you laughing
Oh.my. That is too funny!
I want you to know I finally broke down and bought the Dave (Damn) Ramsey Deluxe Envelope System. Can’t wait to get it. Since I haven’t won one in all my tries…
April, your stories remind me more and more of my family! Especially the attitude and behavior. Thanks for sharing =}
Love the gross news… If you had only called upon my vast experience of diarrhea, I could have warned you off those jalapenos…
You rock!!! I’ve been browsing around watching stuff and reading things here on this blog and now I’m late for a party we are suppose to be at right now..and I’m not even dressed!!!LOL…!!!!! You are hysterical..the dancing video had me in stitches..i shall be back!
SSSSTTTTTOOOOOOPPPPP !!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’re hurting me with the jalepeno popper talk.
The only thing my family says is Hot going in, Hot going down, and burn on the way out.
I alwyas loved when my boys (now adults) use to come up with those kinds of things. Tooter. Love it.
Can we be neighbors!?!?
Too funny.
Keep it real.
It is appreciated.
This post made me laugh until I drooled.
LOL! My son thinks Tudor’s Biscuit World (the restaurant) is TOOTers Biscuit World and thinks it’s hilarious.
Tell your daughter that my 17 year old is painting her room John Deere colors. Green walls with yellow stripe. And she wants to put the phrase “Nothing rides like a Deere” as well. Kinda nixed that part pretty quick.
OH man.. “spicy butt ring”
That is priceless
Charity