When we were little we played ‘Aunt’. Sometimes we were both the moms and hauled our babies around with us in giant purses that we had swiped from our mother. Rechelle always had Tiny Tears, which was a rubber baby-doll that cried real tears when you fed her a bottle of water and squeezed her tummy. I had Winnie the Pooh and Danny. Winnie the Pooh was made for me by my babysitter, Mrs. Reid. I loved him until he was a flat piece of matted fur fabric and then I still loved him. Danny was a big doll with a cloth stuffed body and rubber arms and legs, he had black cropped hair, sometimes Danny became Kimmy.
Kimmy was the little girl that one of us would play while the other one was the mom.
So, let’s review: We played ‘Aunt’; sometimes we were both moms and sometimes one of us was the mom and one of us was Kimmy. We also had Tiny Tears and Winnie the Pooh and Danny/Kimmy the big doll. Got it?
The Aunts were chain smokers. They would smoke on a drinking straw while yelling at Kimmy. They would smoke on an invisible cigarette while talking about which party they should attend. Occasionally, they would enjoy a candy cigarette and then, well, then they talked about how much they loved to smoke and how good that cigarette tasted.
The aunts loved their big vinyl purses. They were huge and lined with dark blue bandanna fabric. When Kimmy was being a pain in the ass, which was nearly always, her mom would start swinging the giant vinyl purse at her and most of the time Tiny Tears was in that giant purse getting whipped around adding to the pummeling Kimmy was getting on her back side. This caused Kimmy to fall down in fits of hysterical laughter. Also, you should know that Tiny Tears, being a newborn baby, could talk and pummel people. She was quite amazing and spent most of her time yelling at Winnie the Pooh.
Sometimes the aunts would have a falling out and not speak to each other for six whole minutes. Usually, their falling outs had to do with someone not getting to play the role of Aunt or Kimmy or more often, Tiny Tears was being too mean. Tiny Tears was a very bitter baby.
One of the sisters would eventually get tired of being pissed off and come up with a way to entice the other sister to resume playing ‘Aunt’. This usually involved great feats of silliness that the mad sister couldn’t resist.
Then like a magical spell had been cast, the sisters were back in their imaginary rolls of Aunt and Kimmy or Aunt and Aunt.
Let’s play ‘Aunt’. I’ll be Kimmy.
No. Let’s both be aunts. Wanna smoke?
The aunts had a very busy social calendar. They were constantly being asked to parties and often those parties required them to perform some sort of dance number and sing a song. The aunts would dig through their mother’s closet and find her highest heels and most luxurious polyester party dresses and adorn themselves with costume jewelry and holler at the kids to get in their big purses, because they were going to Grandma’s house.
The aunts would drop off Tiny Tears, Winnie the Pooh and Danny/Kimmy at Grandma Martha’s house, which most of the time meant they would be stashing them under their Mom’s desk at their father’s business.
Then the aunts would run off to practice their performance for the evening’s big gala.
They always incorporated lots of difficult tricks that only the aunts were able to do and the whole world was amazed by their abilities.
They’d write a few songs and choregraph the steps.
Of course each of them had to have a solo.
After the party had died down and they had sung their last song and danced their last dance and smoked their last cigarette they’d head back to Grandma Martha’s office where they would ask if she had any money so they could run across the street to Taco Grande and buy a sancho for themselves and some cinnamon-sugar tortilla crisps for Tiny Tears, Winnie the Pooh and Danny/Kimmy.
Grandma Martha would hand them some cash while cradling Tiny Tears and say, “Yes and get me a Pepsi and a sancho with extra hot sauce.”
photos by All Astonishment
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Y’all are a bit crazy, aren’t you? And I have to say that I have a huge girl-crush on both of you! I totally want to come over for a playdate!
You have a great blog here, and I’m so glad I stumbled across it. I am now a huge fan!
Thanks for making me laugh today!
Bravo! I loved this. Reminds me of my sister.
SOOOOOO GREAT!!! I love it. I feel like I chould go get my sisters and reanact our childhood follies! Thanks for the laughs and all they inspired!
I LOVE BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!! please may I be your best friend (of course not in the creepy salker kind of way more like I want to be in the club way). Never mind I will make my own club with my two best friends,…. my sisters. thanks for the laugh.
I so seriously wish I had a sister, just so I could tell stories and take photos like that. You both are too much fun!
Can’t wait to hear about the chickens.
I love your blog. This story brought back so manyh memories from childhood. Thanks.
Man this was one of the best blog posts I have ever seen, made me laugh my head off!! Thank-you. I also want a playdate. I have 3 sisters and Lord the things we did!
Both of you ladies just crack me up! And where did you find those shoes? They are to die for!
Oh how I wish I had a sister. Those pictures are priceless.
You two make me smile.
Made me think of my sister and I when we were little. Sadly she is gone now, but oh what memories I have. Her daughter (I’m raising) and my granddaughter are just like us when we were little. It is so fun to watch the silly things they come up with.
April, that first photo of you and your sister is just beautiful!
Oh. My. Goodness. I just don’t know what to say. Poor gender confused Danny/Kimmy! Poor Tiny Tears! She was probably so bitter because both her aunts/mommies smoked. And perhaps Danny/Kimmy was gender confused for lack of a positive male role model. Did Winnie-the-Pooh ever play psychiatrist for this dysfunctional pretend family? I bet he said, “Oh dear” and “Oh bother” quite a lot. Then he probably sat down and said to himself, “Think think think” trying to figure out how to help his patients.
I really don’t remember playing house very much. I preferred pretending I was a horse or Nancy Drew. I totally would have dug those costumes though.
How marvelously, wonderfully, innocently fun.
April you are one crazy chick! Love to read your stories!
LOVE these pictures… I can only imagine how this photo shoot went
Ok, you remind me of someone famous, I just can’t put my finger on it. I keep going to Renee Zellwegger (or however it is spelled) but it’s not her .. it’s someone .. and it’s driving me nuts .. I will be back later when it pops in my head at 2 in the morning ..
Love the pictures. I’m jealous, I wanna play!
Can’t wait for more chicken pictures..
You guys crack me up!! These photos are priceless.
Y’all are definitely funny, fun sisters. I love your posts, April, but I think this is my very favorite!
I love that you two can still be silly kids!!! It’s great.
You two are so cute! This post brought back all sorts of childhood memories, and I don’t even have a sister!
I loved it, reminds me of my 3 crazy sisters…forever making each other laugh!
Brilliant.
My cousin and I were royalty… maybe you heard of us? Probably not, I am not as clever as you two have been about preserving good times for posterity.
TO FUNNY!!!!! Damn Rechelle you’ve got great legs!!!
These pics are hysterical and brightened my day a bit! You also made me want a bean and cheese burrito with extra cheese and mild sauce from Taco Tico. They don’t have those here. boo.
I have to know, WHO took the photos? How could he/she actually take them? I would be laughing so much it would never work.
Wow I wanna play with you guys. You are a lot more fun than MY sister. She was mean and made me be the maid.
Aww, how fun. You brought back some great memories of my sister and I as young kids pretending we were going on a trip. We smoked cigs, too! (pretend ones, of course). We colored alot of rocks, cut up magazines and catalogs to make paper dolls and made mud pies and ate them sometimes! She took her own life a year ago and I miss her dearly. Enjoy your sis!
WHo takes the pictures ? Kimmy?
Must have been a hoot growing up in your house!
I don’t know you but love you..lol I think you guys are great!! Oh how I wish I had a sister!!
Hugs From Pa.
Did you watch Pushing Up Daisies, canceled 2008? If you didn’t you should rent it for the aunts. They were a hoot. Your pictures reminded me of them.
Oh what fun…. you ladies look fabulous!!!
My next sister in line is 4 yrs olders so she scoffeed at my dolls, so the cat & dog were out dolls…Know how hard it is to put a dress on a ticked off cat? LOL
I SOOOO wish I’d had a sister growing up (just two older brothers). Your grandkids are gonna love these pictures someday!
I miss my sister!!! She lives far away. We talk everyday!! We are 55 and 53, and still just as silly as we were growing up. A sister is a gift from God. She has to like you!!! Love the pictures and the story. Made me smile and at this time in life, we all could use some smiles!!! When we do get together, we laugh, play and laugh some more. Our kids think we are crazy. We call ourselves the Jones Sisters!!!
But then our kids are crazy too!!! It is good to laugh!! You will live longer. Be silly!!!!!
This is just what I needed today! You girls are hilarious & it brings back tons of sisterly memories
) Thanks for the laughs this mornin’!
You look like you are having waaaayyy too much fun.LOL
How wonderful that you have such history with each other. I can’t imagine being that close. I wish I had someone like you guys. Thanks for the smiles. Good photos!
Great post!! Reminds me of playing with my best friend. And as much as I hate to say it, the photo shoot reminds me a lot of Absolutely Fabulous!!
I went a whole morning without thinking about how much I miss my little sister who moved overseas. You just shot that to hell. Don’t worry, it’s not all your fault. I would have remembered sooner or later.
I almost blew my morning cup of milk out my nose. I love how your childhood memories are so distinct. When I try to share a laugh with my brother about our childhood days, he gets this blank look on his face as if I’m making it all up. (Apparently, he has no long term memory.) HOWEVER.. I must correct your last statement. Wasn’t it the Taco GRANDE – NOT Taco Tico?!
Hi Darla!
Thanks for correcting me. That little joint has been renamed so many times I was sure it was Taco Tico, but when I read Taco Grande it all came back to me…..and nobody has ever made a sancho as good as them. Since your brother has no memory of your childhood you can just make up wild stories and he’ll never know the difference. Rechelle and I argue over who is trying to re-write history.
Oh how fun! My sister & I used to play “grownup”. Her husband was always Dick, mine was Ken. We also played church…Pretty wierd, huh?!
I had no sisters but I did have Barbara and Linda. We made up stuff as well. Wish I had been there for that photo shoot.
Lovely pictures and what wonderful memories! I am especially entranced by the fact that your sister played along for the photo shoot.
Loved the photos! The story is so familiar! We’d have lame-o plays and charged our hapeless neighbors for the priviledge of seeing them.
My sister is in heaven now. Maybe when she meets me at the gate she’ll have on her safari gear and pith helmet! “Lead on!” I’ll say.
What a wonderful beginning to my day.
I have one sister and I am going to her surprise 80th b/d party in June. For 3 weeks we will be the same age. We only see each other every 2 or 3 years since we live so far apart. You girls are so much fun and bring back memories of growing up on a farm in eastern Kansas.
Makes me want to be a kid again!!! We played with old beer bottles we found in the deep ditches along our dirt road and made all kinds of “home brew” too with rainwater and alfalfa. Smelled “fabulous” after a few weeks!!! haha
Ohhhh Lordy, that’s funny.
When I used to do this my mom always said I smelled ‘like a french whore house and looked like Dolly Parton.’
Priceless.
How fun. Big sigh… I have brothers and they are 4 and 8 years younger than I am. I did have an older sister but she died when I was a baby. I always wondered what it would have been like if she had lived… and missed her. I once dressed the brother 4 years younger than me in one of my dresses and put make-up on him. My dad got all wild eyed crazy and yelled at us never to ever do that again. Probably because my brother liked it so much. He was 12 then. I had to babysit them a lot and the older brother would torture the younger one while I wallered on my bed reading Harlequin romance novels until I couldn’t take it anymore. I would go sit on the one brother and let the little brother beat him up. Then, I would tell our little brother to run and he’d go lock himself in one bathroom and I’d hit the brother I was sitting on before running to lock myself in the other bathroom. I kept Harlequins under the sink just in case because we’d have to stay in there until our parents got home. If we tried to sneak out he would body slam the door or a belt would whip past our face. Good times.
Beautiful.