I have this ‘friend’ that got herself into quite a panty predicament yesterday. You see, this ‘friend’ was wearing one of her oldest pair of underwear and she loves them because they are super comfortable. When she wears them with her jeans they never bug her. She doesn’t have to fish them out of her crack, they just hang loose and she loves them. I know this because, er, she told me all the details, trust me, she is a very, very, close friend. I can practically read her mind.
The trouble started when she threw aside her jeans and slipped on a skirt that may have looked a lot like this one….maybe…I’m just sayin’ it MIGHT have.
She doesn’t usually wear a skirt on Sundays when she has to teach all the first graders because she likes to get down on the floor with the kids to tell a story, but she was plum out of clean pants and sick of wearing her blue jeans and it was Mother’s Day for cryin’ out loud!
If she’d only walked around the house a bit more before she went to church she would have realized the huge error she had made. But, she was too busy sipping coffee and barking orders at her children.
The parking lot at church was very full and when she noticed her husband wasn’t going to let her off at the front door and was mindlessly wandering to the back forty of the lot she may have screached in his ear, “STOP THE VAN AND LET ME OUT OR I’M GOING TO BE LATE TO TEACH MY CLASS!!!” and she may have added the words, Idiot, Stupid-Head and Moron somewhere in that sentence too. I can’t really remember she prattles on and on when telling stories. So, out of the van she went with her best Donald Duck lips pursed, rushing across the parking lot.
That’s when it happened. Her panties? Were they slipping?
There were too many people in the parking lot for her to do a quick hitch-up of her britches, so she decided to let those panties go and worry about that big hand that was about to break her chin.
She made it into church with her underwear resting just below her bodaciousness and she quickly scooted herself into the Ladies Room where she had to make the decision, should she let the favored old undies go and let the heavenly breezes take over or should she try to spare the old pair and tuck them where the sun don’t shine?
And now, my sweet friends. I leave you with the mystery. Did she throw? Did she tuck? What say you? What do you think my friend did in this situation? Do you know her well enough to say?