About a week ago I received this very distressful email from my friend Tim the Real Chicken Farmer about some of his girls that had run off and gotten themselves in, um,….trouble.
Dear Chicken Doctor,
I’ve got about 10 young laying hens I need to be rid of. They just won’t stay out of the neighbor’s yard and he’s not happy and I gave him permission to just shoot them if they ticked him off that much and I just heard a gunshot from his yard…so you get the picture….
This is the part of my job I love the most, getting to don my wings and fly to the rescue of troubled chickens everywhere.
My first job was to comfort and counsel the father of the troubled chickens. I have a minor in chicken psychology.
Chicken Dr.- Tim have you tried talking to the girls? It’s so important to have open communication with your chickens.
Tim- BAH! Chickens now days!
Chicken Dr.- If they feel like you are pushing them away, then they are going to wander out of your yard!
Tim- I can’t take it anymore! They’re no good to me anymore! They have to go!
Chicken Dr.- I can hear that you are in pain, but what I think you’re trying to say is that you love them so much that you have to let them go.
Tim and I decided it would be best if the girls came to live with me, because I am a foster chicken parent.
This is possibly the most helpful my youngest child has ever been, ever. After a few steps he said, “Mom, Mom, Mom, dis chicken is too heavy! Mom! Mom! TOOOO HEAVY!” and that was the end to his usefulness.
But, this kid. He is a chicken whisperer. He has big plans to rehabilitate these wayward chickens.
We wrote down a visitation schedule for Tim, because I am also the counties chicken social worker, but I have a feeling it will be too painful for him to visit his girls.
We put the girls in our outside run when we got home and I have never seen chickens work so hard. They are more like rotatillers than chickens and they laid the biggest eggs I’ve ever seen.
This concludes another successul job done by….The Chicken Doctor.