I’ve found a new love for hair spray. I haven’t owned a bottle of hairspray for years. The last bottle I had dried up, seriously.
However, with the recent bang debacle I had to go buy some new hairspray and it took me forever to pick one out, because who knew there could be so many levels of holding power coming out of a can?
Of course I picked the cheapest and so now I’m Mrs. Stiff Bangs! But, DANG! That stuff is really amazing. 
Why did I ever stop using it? Please give me more. It’s like, like, like, my new drug of choice. Hairspray, I love ya man.*****
I took the above photos before the BIG BETTY BANG DEBACLE, because I thought I would look so cute AFTER my haircut. hahahahahahahahahahar! GAH!!!!
Oh, and today my daughter got in the van and said, “Huh. You’re starting to get one of those things.”
What things?
“One of those hangy down things.”
She was referring to my NECK SKIN!!!!!
Pardon me, while I go shrivel up in a corner. Oh wait! Never mind, seems I’m shriveling up just fine! GAH!
That’s it from here. Now go line up everyone you know and give them a big hug and kiss from me!
Love,
Mrs. Turkey Neck Big Bangs Squeaky Bra
Need a Chicken Doctor?
Contact 
You are so wacky! (It’s why I love your blog) I’ve tagged you. Hope you will stop in to see why.
Cheers to you Ms. Turkey Neck…(I’m STILL laughing)
Did I take my medication today?
Someone from college visited my blog a couple of weeks. Haven’t seen them in 13 years. Thought I hadn’t changed a bit, but he did think the camera angle was a little odd and did comment on the nice blur of the photo.
Aging is great, ain’t it?
Someone from college visited my blog a couple of weeks. Haven’t seen them in 13 years. Thought I hadn’t changed a bit, but he did think the camera angle was a little odd and did comment on the nice blur of the photo.
Aging is great, ain’t it?
There’s nothing like a teenaged daughter to keep you in your place! Mine takes pleasure in pointing out my gray hairs and wrinkles.
I have a squeaky bra too. My husband says that most load-bearing structures squeak. LOL
Aren’t teenagers perfect? If we could just be as honest with them as they seem to be with us. Be we don’t want to injure their fragile mood. It’s part of being a parent. That all changes when they grow up, get married and have children. Then we are finally appreciated!! ha.
I too have recently re-discovered the joys of hairspray; coincidentally around the same time I started growing out my bangs. My theory is, grow hair as long as possible, in order to have more to hide face behind.
My husband patted my hangy down thing on Christmas day and I punched him in front of a lot of his family. Not our proudest moment.
That hangy down thing is called a Waddle. My friend had a Waddlectomy. I want one. I don’t mind the wrinkles so much it’s the waddle and the eye bags, over not under.
Read Nora Ephron’s “I Feel Bad About My Neck” it will make you feel better!
Thanks for posting about the Faulk Christmas story. It needs to be heard by everybody. I posted the link to this on my blog at Christmas, but hardly anybody reads my blog.
Oh April! You are such a trip! I love how willing you are to laugh at yourself and share goofy pictures. At least you make those silly faces on purpose. By handing other people the camera, I have found that I make those faces (some of the very same faces in this post) without trying or knowing it and I do it all the time.
oh lord honey you make me roll laughing at you !!! i love your sense of humor!!
OMG – that is so funny! Perhaps you could use the hairspray to keep the chicken skin from falling down?
Kids say the darndest things, don't they?! I remember babysitting as a teenager, having a big humongous zit which I'd picked the heck out of, and kids saying, "What's that on your face? Is that a boo boo? Did you fall down & hurt yourself?"
Actually though – your daughter should know better! But I remember being very open with my criticism of my mom as a teen too – what a jerk I was!
I was a consumer products tester a few years ago. Don’t ask me how I got to do that, I said, ummm ok, to someone at some point. They would send me stuff in the mail to try and then I’d fill out some opinion thingy. Anyhow … the best thing I got to test was … HAIRSPRAY! I like to think I am solely responsible for TRESemme’s outstanding formula.
Maybe you can find a spray-on product to hold up that turkey neck … and make sure you share … I need it too!
Thanks for the smile….
I rarely comment, but always find your blog so amusing. I can really identify with the self-deprecation!
Oh, April, yep, you did it. I’m in a puddle.
GAH! Do you recall Ally McBeal? there was the attorney who had a thing for the older female judge AND women’s wattles. Remember? or am I the only one old enough to remember that but not where I parked the car this morning?
I just wrote a whole post on my love of hair products. Kids=brutal honesty.
So, aging’s not so great. I’m 44. Suddenly, I can’t see and everything hurts. And my neck skin is–well–perhaps a bit loose, also;) So see what you’ve got to look forward to?
You are a goof ball. I am loving that last photo…um the hangy down thing? Huh! Wait….more hangy down things to follow.
It seems different countries, different cultures, we really can decide things in the same understanding of the difference!
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