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The Living Without Series

This is a series of posts that I wrote back in 2006 on living with less stuff. Check them out: liv011Living #2liv031liv04

Coal Creek Farm on Facebook

The Chicken Doctor

April

The Architect

Clay

Urine dipped April

We did a little fancy-schmancyfroofroo-dilly-wap of a hoop-dee-do project last night. I’ll try to show you the whole process later gater.

Today’s question is; April, why are there two burners missing from your cooktop?

Answer: Because my cat peed on them.

I swear I am drenched in urine everyday. Every single DAY!

I turned on the burner to heat up some water to boil and was accosted by that awful ammonia smell that is known solely as CAT PEE! After the flesh on my face had melted and my nostrils sucked themselves down into my gut I quickly dismantled the stove and washed everything in sight.

You see, I have a cat. Her name is Dixie. She has urinary tract problems if she eats the wrong foods. She’s been eating the dog’s food for about a week because I kept forgetting to get her ‘special’ food for her.

Dixie doesn’t like to be ignored.

Dixie is no dummy.

She peed on the stove.

SHE PEED ON THE STOVE!!!

So, how does that make you feel? Better about yourself?

This is my job people, I aim to make you look better. Just wait until I tell you about my Ugly Betty hair do and my first ever brow wax from hell. You will look in the mirror with a heart of thankfulness and everyone around you will look so lovely…. unless I’m in the room with my Ugly Betty do and freaky eyebrows.

Okay, now if you’ll excuse me I need to go sit in some urine and then maybe I’ll get to writing that post about pretzels dipped in urine…. wait… that’s not right. I mean pretzels dipped in chocolate urine.

Just kiddin‘, come on.

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