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The Living Without Series

This is a series of posts that I wrote back in 2006 on living with less stuff. Check them out: liv011Living #2liv031liv04

Coal Creek Farm on Facebook

The Chicken Doctor

April

The Architect

Clay

Ugly Betty Big Bangs’ Chocolate Dipped Pretzels

I’ve invited Ugly Betty Bangs to host this post for you. Betty gets her hair cut about twice a year and since she’s broke she goes to a school that teaches young people how to cut hair.

This last time she had a very cute 18 year old cut her hair. Only the 18 year old was pretty new to cutting hair. Betty must not have communicated that she didn’t want very many bangs because the young hair cutter used all the hair on top of Betty’s head as bangs and before Betty knew it she had a huge mass of bangs and didn’t quite know what to do except ask the 18 year old for a brow wax.

Betty had never had a brow wax before. Betty doesn’t know why she thought this would be a good time to get a brow wax other than it might make her bangs look better. Betty has sensitive skin. The brow wax made Betty look like she was wearing neon pink eyeshadow for an entire day. Betty had to run a bunch of errands after she got her Bad Betty Bangs and Permanent Neon Pink Eyeshadow. Lots of people saw Betty with her glowing pink eyeshadow and Betty’s young sons said they didn’t like that pink stuff on Betty’s eyes.

Betty won’t be getting her hair cut for a long, long, long time. Betty will be buying some barrettes.

Betty wants you to know her haircut cost $10 and the brow wax was $5 and she tipped the cute 18yo $10. Betty thinks that was a bargain for the amount of humbleness and humility she will be sporting for the next several months. Also, Betty has a Spanish accent.

Thunks so mush for theez Abril.  Shoe know, I don got mush to be sankful fer righ now, specially dees hair, oh me. Lez make some prezels.

Dirst Betty bought a big tub of pretzel rods at the Aldi store. Broke Betty Big Bangs loves the Aldi store. One bad thing about these, they have high fructose corn syrup in them and remember when Big-Broke-Betty-Bouncy-Bangs said no more HFCS?

Eh, sometime….how shoe say?  Shoe gotta do what shoe gotta do, shoe know?

Using a double boiler Betty put water in the bottom pan. In the top pan she dumped half a bag of milk chocolate chips and half a bag of dark chocolate chips. After the chips melted she took them off the heat.

Betty’s husband was the one that suggested they use the pastry brush to paint on the chocolate because spooning it on made it too thick and runny. Note the can of comet in the background for scrubbing the cat pee off the stove. Yummy.

This is Big-Butt-Betty-Bouncy-Bang’s husband and that is a 12 googly eyed angel guarding their kitchen. Betty always feels like someone is watching her. Kinda creepy those 12 eyed angels. They have nothing to do with chocolate covered pretzels or the state of Betty’s bangs.

Poor Ugly-Betty-Big-Bangs. She’s not having a very good week. Did you know she’s wearing her husband’s jeans? She is a complete fashion and hair disaster. At least she’s not wearing that gray sweater again and again and yes, again!

Betty’s family wanted to do some white chocolate too. They learned that the white chocolate cools much quicker and should stay on very low heat to keep it liquid enough to paint on the pretzels. The white chocolate dries much faster.

Broke Betty Big-Bangs used up all her cookie decorating supplies. She also bought some candy canes and pulverized them in the food processor to use on the pretzels.

After the kids painted a pretzel they took them over to the counter to be decorated with sprinkles and glitters and doo-hickeys.

Then they laid them on some plastic to dry. Broke Betty didn’t have any waxed paper, but this worked just fine.Betty’s kids were very creative and very chocolaty. Betty let her 4yo lick the spoon. Betty has a bad habit of laying all her wooden spoons on the burners when the burners are burning hot. Betty’s not too bright.

Betty used the last bits of chocolate to coat a few candy cane sticks, just because.

If Betty can do this, believe me, you can too. Betty is going to be giving these as little gifts. Once they were dry she stored them in a pan. Betty will wrap each pretzel in some cellophane and tie with a ribbon. Because Betty may not have nice hair or fashionable clothes but she does have some creative powers that are beyond the normal human. Meaning she can wrap a pretzel in cellophane and tie a ribbon around it and make it look like A MEELION DOOLLARS!

Thanks Betty. Now let’s go find a baseball cap, m-kay?

Oh no probleem, shoe know, how shoe say?  Mayhee Chreeestmas! An tanks so much!

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