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The Living Without Series

This is a series of posts that I wrote back in 2006 on living with less stuff. Check them out: liv011Living #2liv031liv04

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The Chicken Doctor


The Architect


Just call me the chicken doctor.

Guess what I had to do again tonight? I’ll give you a hint. Spoink.
This time I got it all on film.  I know!  How lucky are all of you?!
This is Clay saying, “Are you seriously going to take pictures of this?”  Yeah.  Isn’t his haircut cute?  He has an awesome stylist.  She lets him sit outside and get bombed by mosquitoes while she hacks away at his sweaty head.  He never leaves her a tip or for that matter pays her!  Humph!

Here’s our poor little gal with the prolapsed pooper shooter.  She layed an egg today so I’m hoping that the egg was her problem.
My assistant does not have a very good attitude.  It’s so hard to find good help these days.
My diagnosis; Pastey Hiney.  Dear me, that is just not pretty.  Mr. Assistant, please take Miss Pastey Hiney to examination room 1.  I need to go get my surgical tools.
Uh, could someone please get the water logged DOG out of the examination room!  This is a sterile environment!  I don’t need my patient getting upset!  Geesh!  Who is in charge of security around here?  Wha?!  THE DOG!  Oh, Moses smell the roses!  What has the medical world come to?  And the fly?  The fly on Mr. Assistant’s arm?  Please.  People, is this a medical facility or a barnyard?  Huh?  What’s that?  It’s a barnyard?  Oh.  Then we’re good.  Carry on.
Okay, Miss Pastey Hiney, let’s take a look.  Mmm Hmm, just as I suspected.  Yes, your crapolotic has fallen out of your poopmoreola.  I’ll get you fixed up in a jiffy.
I’m just going to clean you up.  You should just feel a little pressure and maybe a small pinch.  Isn’t that what they all say instead of this is gonna hurt like hell?  
Now, I’m preparing the special ointment that was made by millions of tiny buzzing pharmacists.  

Just a dab’ll do ya.

And now….. Spoink.  

Okay, I want you to stay quiet for a couple more days and you should work on preening your feathers a bit hon, you’re looking a bit shabby and I don’t mean shabby chic dahling.  And try to keep your pooper shooter inside your body, I don’t want to see you back here tomorrow.

Goodness, this doctoring business really works up an appetite.  Now who wants chicken for dinner?
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