The Living Without Series

This is a series of posts that I wrote back in 2006 on living with less stuff. Check them out: liv011Living #2liv031liv04

Coal Creek Farm on Facebook

The Chicken Doctor

April

The Architect

Clay

Stupid Does

Last night I said..

“You know he’s the mouse in Ratatouille”

then my friend said…

“You mean the rat in Ratatouille”

A couple weeks ago I called a repair man to come fix my dishwasher and he said to me….

“Looks like you need to put some rinse aid in here and use better soap.”

That little tid bit of info cost me $74.

This is why I’m here people, to make you feel better about yourselves.

Freaky White

Is it a wonder that people don’t believe me when I tell them I don’t bleach my hair?

Did I ever question why a slew of boys called me Albino then shortened it to Alby?

It was real. Every white hair of it.

My dad was the only one that said it wouldn’t get darker because I was his little angel.

It did get darker.

People still ask me if I bleach my hair.

Nobody in my family had blond hair. Nobody.

Now, the outfits. Those were from our trip to Prince Edward Island. Our mom liked to have us dress up in costumes for photos. There are other photo sessions with Rechelle in a Dutch outfit and me having tea with a bunch of dolls. I remember feeling incredibly uncomfortable wearing that hat so I pushed it back as far as I could so it wouldn’t mess up my Sally-do.


Before you go check out my fingernails and that turquoise ring. Classy.

And that’s the end of today’s humiliating history lesson. Thank you and goodnight.

If I could go back….

Ever think about what you would do differently if you could go back to high school?  

Man, every time I visit Goodland I go back to my teenage days.  What would I change?
1.  I would never have hid a note in a certain gorgeous boy’s locker telling him his girlfriend was a dip and then undeniably describing myself, but signing the note anonymously.  Lord, have mercy was I a retard.
2. I would not have stolen my parent’s van on a muddy day to go pick up my friend Tina to cruise Maine Street and then get it stuck in the ditch and have to run home in my white penny loafers to call Tina and make up a whopper of a lie to her dad about why I was driving in the first place.   And could he please come try to pull me out?  Oh, I was in 8th grade when I did that and I’d been taking the van out for little test drives unbeknownst to anyone for about a month before I decided it was time to cruise with a friend.   Tina’s dad couldn’t get his truck down the road as far as I drove the van.  My punishment was to pay for the tow truck and clean all the mud out of the van (because I tried digging the darn thing out with my bare hands before I gave up.  I got mud all over the driver’s side) and my dad threatened that I might not drive again until I was 21, which was like cutting off a limb to me.  
3. I would bolster my wit and courage, unfortunately that didn’t happen until I was in college.  But, there are things I would love to have said to people if I’d only had the guts.  I don’t mean being hateful I just mean standing up for what is right and justified and shutting down the loud obnoxious mouths.  Like the time I was in MacDonald’s a couple years ago and this big-smoking-loud-tattoo laden woman was talking on her cell phone and cussing up a storm in the play area.  Not that being forced into a play area doesn’t already make me a little on the edgy, but I looked at her and said, “Hey!  Do you mind?  There are kids in here that don’t need to hear that kind of language!”  and she looked at me and said……oh, sorry.  I know!  I shut her up!  Ooooh, I feel a cheer comin‘ on…  THAT’S RIGHT UH-HUH SAY IT AGAIN, GHS!

Which brings me to my next regret..
4. I would not have been a cheerleader.  Good God!  Rechelle just went into cardiac arrest.  Seriously though, I look at my cheerleading pictures and think, what the hell April, what the hell?  Did I not realize I was six feet tall?  I should have played sports.  Do you know how many coaches and parents asked me why I wasn’t out on the court?  They were embarrassed for me.  I guess I had something to prove.   And I can dance and I’m not afraid to dance in front of people, but I feel awkward and self conscious on a basketball court.  Well whatever,  now I have a daughter that can play any sport with grace and confidence and has stamina and will power, but she can’t dance a lick, I mean she refuses to try and shake her hips.  It’s unfortunate and admirable all at the same time.  I guess I’ll live vicariously through her while I look out the corner of my eye and criticized the weak arm positions of the cheerleaders.
5. I would have studied.  I can’t even say I would have studied harder, because I never studied for anything.  What a blow it was when I got to college.  I was so unprepared.  Listen to me kids, go for the gold while your young!  STUDY HARD!  Geesh, I wasted so much time.
and this is why….
6.  I would not have dated Tim, Tony, Chris, Pat, Rex, Brian or any other guy I may have dated in high school but can’t remember.  Because I never acted like myself around any of them and they were all way too freakin‘ SHORT!  Sorry guys.  Errr, what a waste!  Why couldn’t I have my 38 year old brain in place when I was 15?  Why?
7. I would have spent more quality time with my friends and my family.  I would love to go back and have one day a week with my grandparents.  They only lived 17 miles away and I would go months without talking to them.  That is a crime.  
You know what?  I think that’s it.  I’d like to say I’d go back and change my hairstyle and make up choices but then I’d probably look even more like a freak, not that a teenager with the brain of a 38 year old wouldn’t be freaky.  Oh, but wait.  When I got to college I stopped curling my hair and wore very little make up and one of my sister’s good friends saw me on campus and said, “Hey, April.  Wow!  You are so much prettier than you were in high school.  You look better with no make up.”  sigh.  
8. So, okay I’d go back and chuck the hot rollers and the Mary Kay eye shadow trio.