Because Sometimes I need an Adverb

Clay makes fun of a couple sayings I have:
“Filthy Dirty” and “Freezing Cold”
because most things are not just dirty and I’m never just cold. I’m thinking this blog is looking filthy dirty, and needs some cleaning. I’ve got pictures in my sidebar that don’t exist and links that go to an error, what the gall bladder is it all for? Gall bladder is going to be my new complaint or lack for luster words, like it? Try it. What the gall bladder are you talking about?! Get the gall bladder out of my way! Gall bladder kids knock it off! Puh, I’m just a simple minded person, gall bladder.

Breakfast Chatter

Ike- I wish we had a swimming pool. I wish everybody had one.

Me- Well, if everybody had a pool then there wouldn’t be anything special about getting to swim. So if you asked a friend to come over to swim they would say, Nah I got a pool, and that wouldn’t be much fun now would it?

Ike- Well, our pool would be more fun if it could sing.

Me- Yes a singing pool would be fun.

Seth- (in his best opera voice) Come swim in me, come swim in meee, I’m the fun singing pool, come swim in meeeeeeee.



I’ve said it before, I don’t deserve a cell phone.

Levi snagged my phone out of my purse and was wacking it on the ground in the store, but it was keeping him in one spot and occupied. I made the best parenting decision to let him enjoy his little destructo moment and then I walked out of the store without the gall bladder phone! Clay is picking it up on his way home.

Social Graces

I bought this book- Social Graces- Manners, conversation, and Charm for Today by Ann Platz & Susan Wales
it says things like this:

It was easier to do a friendly thing than it was to stay and be thanked for it.- Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanism of friendship- Colette

Much of good manners is about knowing when to pretend that what’s happening isn’t happening- Mrs. Falk Feeley

The last one cracks me up because how many times have I ignored the speck of food lodged in a tooth or the booger in a nose or the crumb on a chin or the running massacre or the slip of flatulence…..I’m speaking of these things happening to me, not me observing them, I’m not so sure that it’s polite for people to let me walk about unaware of my filthy dirtiness. Oh, how difficult it is to tell someone that they have a white head the size of a lima bean forming by their nostril, no that’s not good manners let’s just ignore the elephant in the room.

Now for the Plug

My new post is up at Larger Families. This week we’re writing on pregnancy, birth, miscarriage ect… I wrote a bit on my miscarriage. I have what seems like a book in the works to post on it here, maybe.

I like the idea of..

Camping, but I don’t want to sleep in a tent or be away from air conditioning, running water and a kitchen.

Baseball, but I don’t want to sit through an entire game or pretend that I’m interested in the game at all. This goes for basketball, soccer and any other game involving a sphere.

Exercising, but I don’t want to get hot, sweaty or feel any pain.

Rising with the sun, but I really want to sleep in and enjoy the peaceful serenity of those couple of hours after Clay leaves for work that the bed is mine allllll mine.

Family vacation, but I don’t want to go anywhere that causes me to be trapped in the car for more than four or five hours so that beach vacation would be a bit like using a hole punch to pierce my eyelids and cleanse the wounds with vinegar.

So what big idea do you like, but not really?

chirp chirp chirp That’s the crickets or locusts or grasshoppers; whatever the bug that makes a darn lot of noise at night these days. It is just waaaaay to quiet around here, I mean the house not the blog, I have a stat counter you know, I can see you, well not you, but I see you. So thanks for looking now start to talking, especially this week people geesh, I obviously do not have enough people over three feet tall to yell, I mean, talk to.

Well, I’m headed west again partner. Just Levi and me. So let’s all bow our heads and say a corporate prayer shall we?

Dear Heavenly Father,
I know we’ve been down this road before, in fact it was just two weeks ago, but leaving my children to be raised by puppets at a fine arts camp would be an experiment I don’t think I should participate in. So I better go fetch them.

Please God, let Levi sleep for at least half the ride so his misery will only last three hours.

God please let Eastern Missouri and Eastern Kansas have enough crackery bagged food items to keep Levi full and happy.

God please help me not to pull my bicep, tricep, neck or pec muscles while stretching back to feed, wipe, soothe, fetch, swat or whatever for my darling baby.

God please let my van act like she is less than a decade old and we are just on a few errands about town, yes that’s what I’ll tell her. Oh, sorry Father that is a bit of a fib, but you know how she needs to be gently persuaded ever since I made her go down the driveway in the snow and launch herself into the creek like she was the Duke’s General Lee. Remember, I cried your name and not ‘Yeee Haw’ so she knew I wasn’t playing around. I told her I thought she’d like to meet the guys at the shop; they give a nice undercarriage tuck. She just hasn’t been the same since. Have mercy on her Father.

God please help me to remember to plug in my cellphone and turn it on. You know how low I scored on the Nerd Test and thus you know my knowledge of electronic devices and my motivation to want knowledge about said devices. I need you to pass wisdom of wireless proportions to me.

God please let there be real cream for my coffee at every truck stop.

God please let Levi hold off on his human excrement until we arrive.

What’s that you say God? I should consider just harnessing his car seat to the luggage rack?

Thank you Father for hearing my prayer.

Amen